Sometimes you can make your relationship with a person worse than you think. Your actions can drive people away and cause them to stop trusting you. Always try your best to be open with a person, and don’t take them for granted. Here are 19 ways you might be driving people away.
Being Too Self-Centered
If you find that you dominate conversations, lack empathy, and take more than you give, then Verywell Mind says chances are you’re a self-centered person. These traits can make people want to stay away from you, as you rarely show an interest in their lives. Relationships and friendships work both ways.
Constantly Seeking Validation
You may feel that you always need validation because it helps with your confidence, but it can also be detrimental to your relationships. Try to avoid the need for constant compliments or reassurance, as it can be tiring for a person, whether that’s in person or on social media.
Being Overly Judgmental
Judgmental behaviors, such as constantly criticizing the actions of others, can be a way to push people away. It reveals that you lack empathy and people may even start to think you’re judgmental about them behind their backs. Keep your opinions to yourself, as they could harm your relationships.
Gossiping
A person will know that if you’re gossiping about someone to them, then chances are you’ll also gossip about them to someone else. It shows that you can’t be trusted, and people won’t come to you with their secrets or if they need advice.
Lack of Empathy
Regain writes, “Empathy allows us to understand the experiences of others on an emotional level. If you don’t experience empathy from others, you can feel isolated and confused.” If you make people feel like this, then you’re going to push them away. It reflects levels of insensitivity when a person needs you the most.
Being Unreliable
If you find that you often break promises or consistently let a person down, they aren’t going to want a relationship with you. It means they can’t trust you, especially when it comes to commitments. Even small things, such as running late all the time, can have a negative effect on relationships.
Displaying Perfectionism
Perfectionism isn’t something everyone wants to attain, and if you’re constantly rubbing your “perfect” life in someone’s face, then it can have consequences. Everyone has different goals, and what you classify as perfect, another person may not. Being critical of another person can create stress and affect your relationship with them.
Being Overly Competitive
Always trying to outdo people is not only tiring for you, but it can also be harmful to your relationship. It shows that you think you’re superior to them, even if it’s small things like constantly needing to win at activities. You can cause resentment in your relationships and people will want to stop hanging out with you.
Refusing to Let Go of Grudges
Holding onto the past is not good for you or your relationships. If a person presumes you’ve let go of something they did, but then you bring it up in any present conflicts, they’re going to be confused. It will prevent any relationships from healing and will stop you from moving forward with a person.
Pessimism
Constant pessimism can have a negative effect on relationships. For example, BetterHelp writes, “It can be challenging for optimistic people to maintain a relationship with a pessimistic person.” This is because pessimistic people will find it difficult to trust others and will only focus on the negatives.
Dishonesty
If you find that you often lie to your loved ones or even bend the truth, then it’ll push them away if they find out you did this. Breaking trust will damage any form of relationship, whether it’s personal or professional. It’s best to always stay honest, no matter how difficult you find it.
Lack of Emotional Control
Not being able to control your emotions makes others see you as a live wire. If you frequently lose your temper, then it’s going to put people off wanting to see you. People don’t want to feel like they have to walk on eggshells around you, and it can also be a scary experience for them.
Clinginess
If a person feels like you’re overly needy in a relationship, then it can be off-putting and this can drive them away. It doesn’t give this person a chance to breathe, and if you’re in a romantic relationship, then it can be even more suffocating. People still want their own sense of independence, and you should, too.
Taking Things Too Personally
Overreacting to a person’s comments can push them away, especially if it’s done on a regular basis. These minor comments could’ve been made as a way to help you and by taking them the wrong way, you ruin the relationship. People may stop wanting to help you out of fear that you’ll take any constructive criticism too personally.
Not Making Plans
You shouldn’t always rely on other people to make plans; it works both ways in a relationship. If you do this, then it may get to the point where that person stops trying to make plans because the relationship feels one-sided. This is commonly seen in friendships and is one of the main reasons they fall apart.
Making Repeated Poor Decisions
It can be hard for a friend to keep supporting someone who is always making bad decisions, says John Pucay. If you’re constantly making the same mistakes, then a person is going to find it hard to support you if you’re incapable of learning. If you’re in a relationship where you’re constantly making the same mistake, then they aren’t going to want to be with you.
Being Too Defensive
Being too defensive is a negative trait, and it can affect your relationships. It can show that you don’t have any accountability, which makes resolving conflicts much harder than they should be. It also makes it difficult for a person in a professional setting to give you constructive feedback.
Always Comparing Yourself to Others
While you may feel you need to compare yourself to others as a form of motivation, it can be incredibly frustrating for those you’re close to. It can create a competitive environment rather than a place where people feel supported and this can stop them from wanting to see you.
Failing to Show Gratitude
Greater Good writes, “Gratitude is good for your psychological well-being, your relationships, and possibly even your physical health.” This is why it can be so detrimental if you’re unable to show it. People want to feel like their efforts have been acknowledged; otherwise, it can make them feel underappreciated.
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