You can never really know another person, but if you watch and listen carefully, you can figure them out. Pay attention to the people around you and you might notice some of these 17 traits that expose a person’s true self.
Listening skills
The way a person pays attention to others is a good indication of their character. Actively listening, rather than merely waiting to speak next, shows interest, understanding, and empathy toward different perspectives. Good listeners can provide verbal and non-verbal feedback to support and uplift the speaker. Being a bad listener, however, may show a self-centered side.
Generosity
How generous a person is can tell you a lot about their character; as GGSC explains, humility and agreeableness are associated with generosity. A willingness to share resources can show selflessness and an altruistic nature. However, if a person is selfish, not just with things but with their time or their energy, this can show a mean spirit.
Treatment of service workers
How someone treats waitstaff, cleaners, or other service workers can reveal their respect for others, regardless of social or economic status. Kindness to service staff is a good indication that they are a good person, but if someone is rude to service staff for no reason, this tells you a lot about their character.
Use (or abuse) of power
As Plato so eloquently put it, “Only those who do not seek power are qualified to hold it”. People can use power to control and dominate other people or to empower and lead them. The way someone wields power reveals their intentions and abuse of power is all too common and easy to hide, explains business.com.
Response to criticism
If someone reacts badly to criticism, becoming defensive and angry, this can show that they are not willing to respect other opinions and they are not open to change. However, a person taking criticism on board and really thinking about it can indicate that they have a level of maturity and self-awareness.
Patience
A person’s level of patience in a tough situation can reveal their ability to handle stress. Some people are not good with frustration and uncertainty (which is fine, it’s hard to deal with), but showing patience indicates emotional stability, according to Greater Good Magazine. Equally, exercising patience in achieving long-term goals can indicate foresight and persistence.
Behavior in a crisis
In a crisis situation, some people fall apart, and some people become absolute heroes. Everyone else just hides. If a person remains calm and focused during a crisis, this can reveal their capability for leadership and resilience. But if they crumble under pressure and can’t handle stress–well, that’s ok too, we can’t all be amazing.
How they treat animals
Animals are beautiful, innocent souls, and it goes without saying that any cruelty towards them is heinous. However, a person’s general treatment of animals can also reflect their capacity for compassion and empathy. A responsible attitude towards animals, simple regular care, and humane treatment can indicate a nurturing and considerate nature.
Money matters
The way a person handles money can reveal a lot. If they are fair with money, generous, or sensible, this can show that their character is the same. Being impulsive with money or greedy with it, can show an impulsive or greedy nature. A person’s tendencies either way can show a lot about a person’s values.
How (or if) they apologize
Some people just can’t say sorry at all, which shows them to be stubborn and unable to admit fault. The ability to apologize with genuine remorse and accept fault shows humility and the capacity to take responsibility. Sincere apologies are often followed by efforts to make amends. This shows a willingness to change behavior for the better.
Sense of humor
What people laugh about can reveal their true nature. If their humor is inclusive, they laugh with people, not at them. They want to lift others and make them happy. If their humor is at the expense of other people, teasing them to get a laugh from their friends, that shows that they’re a little unkind.
Reaction to conflict
Some people face conflict with a calm demeanor and the intention of resolving differences. Other people really enjoy stirring the pot. And a lot of people try to avoid conflict altogether. All of these approaches indicate a person’s attitude to problem-solving. In addition, how people manage emotions during conflict can reveal their emotional maturity and stability.
How respectful they are
Not everybody understands the importance of respecting others’ privacy and personal boundaries. People who understand that respect and boundaries matter show emotional maturity and consideration for others. Respecting privacy can also indicate a person’s trustworthiness and discretion. Ignoring boundaries, on the other hand, shows a closed-minded nature and no consideration for personal space.
What motivates them?
When you know what motivates a person, you can get a deeper understanding of their true nature. Some people are motivated by greed, some by love, and some by fear or violence, among other emotions. Finding out what drives a person to pursue their passions can show who they really are inside.
Adaptability
How a person reacts to change—whether they embrace it or resist it—can reveal their flexibility and show how open they can be to new experiences. Being open to change and adaptable to new situations is often accompanied by an ongoing desire to learn and grow. Resistance to change indicates a fear of the unknown.
Integrity in difficult situations
Too many people are easily swayed to abandon morals in the face of threat or temptation. A person who remains honest and fair, even when nobody is watching, reveals strong principles. Furthermore, admitting and fixing one’s mistakes shows integrity and humility, and according to Yale University, a person with integrity is one you can trust.
Respect for differences
Showing respect and acceptance of different cultures, backgrounds, and opinions can indicate that a person is open and good-natured. If a person is not judgemental about others, instead choosing to learn about their experiences and perspectives, people will feel comfortable around them.
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