By the time you reach 50, it’s likely you’ll have a good amount of experience when it comes to relationships. You’ll probably realize that there are many relationship rules that aren’t helpful. Here are 18 relationship rules you should absolutely ignore after 50.
Don’t go to bed angry
When you’re young or early in a relationship, this is a rule many follow; however, by the time you reach 50, you realize it’s fine to go to bed with a conflict unresolved. Sometimes one or both people need time to think about it and as long as this is communicated before going to bed, this is fine.
Your partner should complete you
The Providence Journal reports, “Some people think that finding the right partner will make them happy. Not so. You’re the only person who can make yourself happy.” Your partner should add to your life, not complete it. Instead, you should be focusing on personal fulfillment. You should both encourage each other through personal goals and growth.
Always be spontaneous
Spontaneous isn’t something you have to be in your 50s. It may be more realistic to plan activities together when you both know you’re free and up for it. If you still want to surprise your partner, then discuss what surprises you enjoy so it’s fun for both of you.
Never go on separate vacations
Some people never leave their partner behind when going on vacation, but this isn’t necessary. Going on solo trips can be a great time to relax and reflect on personal growth. You may even want to go away with friends and this should be respected in a relationship.
Keep your struggles private
If you both have the understanding that you may ask outsiders for support and advice, then there’s no issue with doing so. Having a good support network is crucial. Someone may be able to offer you advice based on their own personal relationship experience, which may help strengthen your relationship.
Partners should do everything together
By the time you reach 50, you will probably realize that partners most definitely don’t need to do everything together. You both have your own hobbies and people you’re close to outside of the relationship, and you’ll want to maintain those contacts. You should be in the mindset of celebrating individual successes and experiences instead of feeling like you missed out.
Avoid talking about past relationships
Talking about past relationships can actually be a really healthy thing that helps your current relationship grow. You can discuss previous mistakes that can be valuable lessons for your relationship. Being transparent is the best way to build trust in a relationship because, without trust, your relationship will struggle.
Love should always feel easy
The truth is, relationships aren’t like you see in the movies. They can be difficult in stages and require a lot of effort and commitment from both parties. In a loving relationship, it’s normal to face challenges but they can present an opportunity to strengthen your relationship by overcoming things together.
Always make decisions together
By the time you reach 50, especially if you have been in your relationship for a while, you’ll have realized that not all decisions need to be made together. You’ll know each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and someone may be better at decision-making. The other partner will be able to trust this decision.
Your partner should always make you happy
Happiness shouldn’t be down to your partner; it should be your personal goal, which you can then share with them. Of course, your partner can contribute to your happiness but they are not responsible for it. You should be doing the things in life that make you happy.
Sex should be spontaneous
Spontaneous sex when you’re younger can be very important to keeping a relationship exciting. By the time you reach 50, you realize it’s not essential anymore, and planning sexual interactions may be more helpful. This can ensure you both have the energy and time for one another.
Avoid conflict to keep peace
In any relationship, you shouldn’t avoid conflict to keep peace, especially when you’re in your 50s. It’s important that you address any issues you have with your partner or the relationship, as this helps them understand your needs and allows the relationship to strengthen.
Your partner should read your mind
When you reach 50, you may have been in your relationship for many years and because of this, you expect your partner to be able to read your mind because they know you so well. Group Therapy Associates reflects this by stating, “Don’t expect your partner to know what you need without you having to tell them.”
Never change for someone
There is a good side to changing for someone. You may not be entirely happy with who you are as a person and changing may help you attract the right partner or prevent you from losing your current partner. Embracing positive change can strengthen your relationship to new levels and bring further happiness.
Old conflicts should stay in the past
Sometimes discussing old conflicts can be healthy in a relationship. It can address reoccurring issues that still aren’t solved or prevent them from happening in the future. It can also be an opportunity to reflect and see how far you have come as a couple since the conflict.
You have to agree on everything
In a relationship, you won’t agree on everything. You both have your own individual ideas and opinions and these don’t have to match. As long as you hear out each other’s differences and respect one another’s views, you can still have a thriving, healthy relationship.
You should always be your partner’s priority
When you reach 50, you’ll probably realize that being your partner’s priority all the time can be detrimental. It’s important to balance your relationship priorities with your personal and professional ones. You need to respect times in life when other things need to take precedence.
Marriage is always the end goal
Mind Body Green reports, “There are plenty of reasons some people decide they don’t want to get married, ranging from past traumas to finances.” A healthy and happy relationship should be the end goal, and if marriage adds to that, then great, but marriage can bring a lot of stress to a relationship, so for some, it’s not essential.
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