For devout parents, religion provides a great source of comfort, community, and purpose, so it can be difficult when a child rejects it or shows little interest. However, parents should never push religion on their children, and here are 17 reasons why.
Stunting Their Critical Thinking
Religious doctrines are down to interpretation, so forcing a child to accept these without questioning them tops them from developing critical thinking skills. Try teaching your child about your beliefs while allowing room for alternative ideas and respectful curiosity; then, they can decide for themselves.
It Breeds Resentment
Few adults like being told what to do, but children love rebelling against being told what to think. The Richard Dawkins Foundation says this is something you shouldn’t try to control; otherwise, it can result in rebellious children and teenagers. They may deliberately go against your faith to assert their independence.
Discourages Open Communication
If your religion has restrictions on things like gender roles, sex, dress codes, or alcohol, this may become a source of conflict as your child becomes a teenager. Try not to involve religion in every discussion about discipline, and allow them to discuss their desires and aspirations without judgment.
It’ll Become a Chore
Forcing children to participate in religious activities like attending services or praying can make these practices feel like chores rather than something they find meaningful. By pushing them to partake against their will, you’ll dissuade them from genuinely connecting with your faith. Encourage them to take part without being too strict.
Divided Families
If you follow a different religion than other family members, putting pressure on your child to follow yours is a terrible idea. Not only will you confuse and isolate your child, but you’ll also create unnecessary tension in your family. Respect your child’s heritage and right to practice any religion they find meaningful.
Religious Bullying
Always consider the world your child lives in and the impact strict religious practices may have on their social life. The Guardian warns that 1 in 4 children are bullied due to their faith, causing them to turn away from religion. Teach your child about religious tolerance and never encourage them to convert others.
Unanswered Questions
Children are naturally curious and will inevitably have questions about religious beliefs, death, and the meaning of life. Forcing a pre-packaged set of answers can leave young minds confused, so instead, introduce them to your beliefs while encouraging open discussion, allowing them to develop their own understanding of these topics.
It Can Stunt Self-Discovery
Childhood is all about self-discovery and naturally evolving into the person you’re supposed to be. Many mainstream religions suppress individuality and personal expression, imposing a rigid set of personality traits on believers. Don’t deny your child the chance to be themselves; provide a loving and supportive environment that allows their personality to shine.
It Causes Confusion
The world is a diverse place with many different religious traditions, so forcing a child to adhere to a single set of beliefs can be confusing, especially when they encounter friends and classmates who are atheists or practice other faiths. This can result in serious confusion and dissonance, so go easy on them.
Limited Worldview
Religion provides a sense of belonging and community, but it also limits a child’s exposure to different cultures and perspectives. Encouraging children to learn about other religions fosters a more open-minded and well-rounded worldview. They can appreciate the beauty and wisdom of various belief systems, even if they don’t subscribe to them.
Religion Doesn’t Equal Morality
Forcing religion on your child will never guarantee morality; acting with kindness and honesty isn’t a religious trait—it’s something that children learn from their parents! Focus on instilling positive values and respect rather than threatening your child with divine consequences if they don’t comply.
Potential Trauma
Choose Therapy explains that strict religious parenting can cause lasting emotional damage, known as religious trauma. This can cause a variety of problems as a child ages, including social isolation, low self-esteem, sleeping/eating problems, nightmares, and mental health issues. A more gentle approach will reduce the chance of such symptoms.
Blind Faith and Extremism
Encouraging blind faith can be mental poison, potentially putting your child in future danger. When religion is taught to them without an open-minded approach, a child may become incredibly passionate about their discovery, potentially even developing into extremism. However, this only occurs with forced approaches, and gentle encouragement is fine.
Denies Them of Their Freedom
What if your child falls in love with someone of the same sex or of a different faith? In our more progressive, diverse world, what makes them happy may not match your religious principles, which could lead to feelings of self-hatred or isolation.
A Focus on Punishment
Children are vulnerable to fear tactics, and many mainstream religions warn believers of painful punishment should they ‘stray from the path’ of their faith. New Thinking disapproves of this greatly, claiming that threatening ‘naughty’ children with Christian hell and Satan’s barbaric punishments will only lead to nightmares and anxiety.
Discrimination
Throughout history, religion has been used to justify discrimination against those who hold different beliefs, and your child isn’t an exception to this. Remember that they’re growing up in an ever-progressive and inclusive world, making all kinds of discrimination and forcing beliefs outdated and unacceptable.
No Guarantees
Finally, always remember that there’s no guarantee your child will become religious, no matter how hard you force it. In fact, being too heavy-handed will have the opposite effect. Share your faith and its practices with them, but always allow them to go on their own ‘spiritual journey,’ even if it differs from your own beliefs.
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