Pew Research shares that old men are twice as likely to live alone as old women. Why is this the case, and do they really enjoy solitude? Here are 18 reasons your dad or old friend may feel comfortable staying away from others.
Everything’s Quieter
Older people are more sensitive to noise and find it harder to filter out distractions than younger people. This causes a lot of frustration for them. You may see some old men prefer to just sit or live alone because, this way, they don’t have to deal with unnecessary noise from other people.
No Drama
When you’re around people, it doesn’t take much to start off some drama, and situations will get really tense and stressful most of the time. With Harvard sharing that stress causes heart palpitations, poor concentration, and sleep difficulties, drama is the last thing an old man will want to be around. Hence, it’s usually better to just be alone.
Economic Independence
It’s no surprise that seniors are the highest custodians of wealth, having been able to gather up so much money over the years. They have their own cars, their own houses, and, more importantly, their own money. Since no one fulfills their financial needs better than themselves, older men find it easier to live in solitude.
Economic Challenges
On the other hand, old men may stay alone due to socioeconomic challenges. They don’t have the financial resources to stay in assisted care homes or pursue the life they want, so they have no other choice but to find fulfillment in solitude.
Self-Reflection
They have a lot of years behind them, and there’s no better time to evaluate life choices than at their old age. Being alone allows old men to think without interference or pressure, and like this, they judge their actions more honestly. It could be a path to understanding who they truly are and finding inner peace.
Fatigue
As men grow older, the amount of testosterone they produce decreases, and this leads to energy levels that are too low to do the things they’ve once loved to do. Mental or physical fatigue (which sometimes manifests into depression) can push them into solitude to recover or preserve energy.
Staying Away From Societal Pressure
According to Pew Research, “far higher shares of men face a lot of pressure to support their families and to be successful at work.” There’s been so much weight on their shoulders, and old men just want to get this off themselves. Solitude offers a way out of societal pressure after retirement.
Focus on Himself
After a life of helping others out and centering social activities around being with friends and family, some older men may also want a change in lifestyle. They want to focus on their own happiness more, and you may see them practicing more self-compassion, following self-care plans, and finally doing the things they’ve always wanted to do alone.
Pursuing Solo Hobbies
One way older men exercise self-care is by focusing on hobbies that they’ve not been able to do over the years. This isn’t about solo activities like reading or gardening. It’s about pursuing money or time-intensive solo hobbies like collecting art and golfing without worrying about having to take care of others.
Coping With Grief
With old age comes the loss of family and friends who would’ve left over the years. Death is hard to deal with, and although it’s advised to share the grieving experience with others, some older men prefer to be alone to process their thoughts and express emotions better.
Freedom to Pursue Creativity
Artistic endeavors in music, drawing, creative writing, and theater can help improve cognitive function, memory, and self-esteem in seniors. With research on ScienceDirect showing that there’s more creativity in self-imposed solitude, some older men may prefer to be alone to get the most from their creative pursuits.
Disappointment From Others
Living 60 years of your life continuously faced with disappointment from loved ones can push anyone into seclusion. There are trust issues when dealing with others, and the only person you rely on is yourself. This is one reason why many old men stay away from family and never try to build new social connections.
Simplifying Life
The past 30 years have been packed with innovations and the increasing need to adapt to be able to take care of family. In retirement, some old men may just want to get away from the complexities of modern life and live a calmer, slower lifestyle—the type of lifestyle people may not want to adopt with them.
Need for Deeper Connections
Making the most of the rest of their lives requires having more quality relationships. They see no need to make friends that will only be there temporarily or to take advantage of them. Hence, they’ll prefer to stay within the small social circle they have left or be alone until they meet someone who makes them feel heard.
Poor Health
Declining health, especially when a man approaches 80 years of age, can ignite feelings of defeat. While some men may prefer to be alone so they can enjoy these final years better, some just don’t want others to feel sorry for them. The sad reality of this is that, as the CDC shares, loneliness increases the risks of heart disease, stroke, anxiety, and depression—making their situation even worse.
Meditation
Maybe your dad or old friend just wants enough alone time to meditate. Mindful practices like meditation increase cognitive skills and help curb issues around stress, chronic pain, and mental health. It’s also more effective in solitude, where there’s no distraction from others, making many old men value their alone time.
Spiritual Pursuits
Declining health, the loss of close ones, and the fear of death can push anyone to find another meaning to life through spirituality. It’s a coping mechanism many older men use to deal with the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness that come with declining physical, mental, and physiological abilities.
No Family Nearby
For some people, they just don’t have the loved ones they’ve built their lives around close to them. This may have been due to their own relocation or the relocation of these loved ones, and bringing others into their personal space never sits well with them.