Since the beginning of human civilization, society has instilled in us certain beliefs and ideas that can be both beneficial and detrimental. But while we may look back and laugh at some of the societal rules people used to follow decades ago, it may be time we looked a little closer to home. This list explores 20 lies society tells us to accept and why it’s time we stopped.
You Need a College Degree to Be Successful
Many of us grow up automatically following the same academic and career path model, simply because of the commonly held belief that we need a college degree to be successful. But in reality, many people have proven that this is far from the case. It is often the case that experience, skills, and networking are even more important than a degree.
Marriage is Necessary for a Fulfilling Life
If you’ve always believed that you’ll only be truly happy and satisfied in life once you finally reach your wedding day, you’re not alone. But while society may be pretty good at convincing us of this lie, we don’t need to accept it. A lot of people find a great deal of fulfillment and happiness in friendships, achievements, personal growth, and many other aspects of life.
Busy is Better
A lot of people find that they can’t relax or feel comfortable unless they know that they’ve achieved a long list of goals and daily tasks. Society is largely to blame for this, making us feel that our value is dependent on how much we get done. But this belief is both harmful and untrue, and the Harvard Business Review says it can cause people to burn out and neglect their mental health and self-care.
Homeownership Equals Financial Success
It’s normal for people to feel like they can only say they’ve really “made it” financially once they own their own home. However, the truth is that a lot of financially successful people choose to rent because it gives them more flexibility and freedom. Sometimes, the state of the housing market also means that it’s simply not the best move to invest in a property right away.
You Need a High-Paying Job to Be Happy
It’s understandable why we may think that our happiness is dependent on how much we get paid, but this isn’t the case. While we do need a certain amount to fulfill our basic needs, many of the happiest people on our planet earn a very humble wage and find their joy in life’s simple pleasures.
You Must Have Children to Be Happy
Most of us are familiar with the experience of our parents, family, or friends asking when we’re finally going to have kids. The underlying assumption is often that our lives won’t be happy or complete until we do. However, more and more people are choosing to live happy, child-free lives, finding more than enough contentment and fulfillment in different pursuits.
You Must Always Be Happy
The last time you were feeling down and someone asked you how you were doing, what did you say? There’s a good chance you automatically told them, “I’m good” or “I’m fine.” This is because of the societal pressure to always appear happy, especially in public and around strangers. It’s about time that we accepted that it’s completely normal and okay to feel and express the full range of emotions.
Money Equals Happiness
As mentioned earlier, it’s a myth that one’s level of happiness is purely dependent on how much they earn or have. Sadly, a lot of the richest people in the world are also some of the unhappiest. On the flip side, plenty of people who have just enough money to meet their needs are perfectly content with what they have.
You Must Be Thin to Be Happy & Healthy
As noted by Glamour UK, it’s a common but untrue myth that being thin will automatically make you happy. While obesity is linked to more health risks, many people with higher BMIs lead happy and healthy lives. It’s much more important to focus on looking after your health and well-being than obsessing over a certain number on the scale.
You Shouldn’t Talk About Your Feelings
While people may not directly tell you to suppress your feelings, there’s an unspoken societal pressure to do just that. People who remain emotionally inexpressive are often praised for being “strong” or “professional.” But in truth, it’s much healthier to feel and express all of your emotions. This also helps people feel more comfortable doing the same.
Retirement Means the End of Productivity
Sadly, many people feel negatively about entering their retirement years because they think their lives will no longer have much purpose or meaning. But in truth, there are many things retirees can do to remain productive and fulfilled, including learning new skills, contributing to their community, volunteering, and starting new hobbies.
You Shouldn’t Spend Time Alone
Some people avoid spending time on their own, especially in public, because they think that others will view them as strange, unlikeable, or social outcasts. However, according to the University of Reading, solitude actually has many mental health benefits, allowing you to relax, be yourself, reflect, and think creatively.
Success is Linear
When we visualize the way success “should” work, we often think of it as being linear, which would mean that we’re always getting better. However, this is an inaccurate and potentially harmful way to view success. It’s very common for people who are successful in various aspects of their lives to encounter numerous setbacks and failures before getting to where they want to be.
You Need Others’ Approval to Be Happy
Sadly, it’s common for people to feel like they can only be happy and satisfied with themselves when others approve of them. However, it would be hard for anyone to be happy if this were the case, as different people value different traits and qualities, meaning you can never be perfect in everyone’s eyes. Therefore, it’s much better and healthier to focus on the things that matter to you and let yourself be your authentic self.
Adults Have All the Answers
Growing up, we tend to assume that adults are all-knowing oracles who always do things the right way and rarely have any struggles. But most of us who reach adulthood will tell you that’s far from the case. It’s normal to continue experiencing various kinds of hardships, struggles, and gaps in knowledge throughout your life, no matter how old you get.
Failure is Not an Option
A lot of people find it difficult to start new projects or endeavors because they’re so afraid of failing in some way. But it’s time that we stopped acting like failure is completely unacceptable or uncommon. Everybody on our planet will fail in some capacity, and it’s a normal and healthy part of finding your way to success.
Tradition Must Always Be Upheld
Contrary to what some people think, traditions aren’t always there to be followed and upheld. As we’re starting to realize, questioning and challenging certain traditions and beliefs can help us become more inclusive, accepting, and open-minded as a society. It’s important that traditions adapt and evolve to stay up to date with modern values.
Life is a Competition
It’s common for people to constantly compare themselves with one another and feel like life is a competition. But as noted by the Association for Psychological Science, there are many drawbacks to comparative thinking, including negative thinking and lower self-esteem. Nobody has the exact same set of skills and qualities, so it’s far healthier to focus on your own goals and progress.
Aging is Undesirable
A lot of people have a great fear of aging, feeling that it will make them less attractive, capable, or healthy. But in reality, there is nothing inherently wrong or ugly about aging, and people can continue to feel wise, beautiful, productive, and capable well into their retirement years.
You Must Live Up to Social Media Standards
While social media has helped people stay more connected and informed, it has also been very harmful in the way it portrays “perfect” lives and appearances. These personas are often completely manufactured, unrealistic, and idealized, so it’s an unhealthy waste of time to try to live up to those standards.
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