You may think passive behavior is the better alternative to aggression, but it can be just as damaging. Being too passive means allowing things to happen to you whether you like them or not, so we’ve compiled 19 habits of passive people that you should try to shake for a more positive life.
Hiding Your Feelings
Passive people don’t like to bother others, so they often hide their true feelings. If you don’t usually confide in your family or friends, you’re likely a passive person, especially if you’re dishonest about how you feel. You might think you’re being self-preservational, but your passivity negatively impacts your emotional well-being.
Not Taking Initiative
It’s common for passive people to think things will ‘just happen’ for them, so they don’t take the initiative to change their lives. Subsequently, they get stuck in a rut and aren’t motivated to chase the things they want. The only way to change this is to confront your passive behavior head-on.
Seeking Approval From Others
Although passive people tend to keep their feelings to themselves, it’s also normal for them to desperately seek approval from others to justify their choices rather than think for themselves. According to Psych Central, approval-seeking behaviors include struggling to make decisions, seeking reassurance, and basing your mood on what others think of you.
Being Indecisive
Many people are indecisive, but passive people seriously struggle to commit, even after deliberation. They will struggle to make even the most minor decisions, like where to get dinner or what movie to watch. As a result, other people often decide for them.
Having Lax Boundaries
Having boundaries is essential to protect yourself from others trying to take advantage. Unfortunately, if you’ve got a passive personality, you might struggle to maintain your boundaries when people overstep out of fear of upsetting them. Sadly, by avoiding conflict, you’re just showing people they can walk all over you.
Not Speaking Up
How you communicate says a lot about you. Do you share your thoughts? Do you speak confidently? Or do you keep quiet and refuse to participate in conversations? Passive people are hesitant and often doubt themselves, so they’re less likely to speak up, especially if they disagree with what’s being said.
Being Defeated By Failure
Failure is tough, but it’s essential in moving forward, so giving up when something doesn’t instantly go your way is too passive. You might throw your hands up and say something like, ‘I guess I was never supposed to get the job,’ which indicates you give up as soon as things get hard.
Belittling Yourself
If you prefix every conversation with ‘I don’t want to bother you’ or put yourself down constantly, you’re probably passive. This is detrimental to your mental health because it encourages you to self-sabotage. Verywell Mind notes that belittling yourself can also lead to feelings of depression and anxiety.
Always Saying Yes
Part of having boundaries is the ability to say no, which is important for your own physical and emotional health. However, passive people struggle to refuse, so they say yes to everything. Sadly, this habit allows people to take advantage of your good nature.
Believing In Luck
In some situations, luck is undoubtedly a factor, but to achieve consistent results, you must work hard and believe in yourself. It’s a common passive trait to think you’ll be lucky and have things magically happen for you. If you don’t make them happen, your life will stagnate.
Having Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem is a classic passive trait, one that evolves from many years of acting passively. Your confidence takes a knock every time you make a joke at your expense or let others talk over you, and you’ll struggle to break the cycle. If you can’t see your value, how will anyone else?
Lacking Purpose
Passive people typically struggle to picture the future because they don’t bet on themselves to succeed. This results in a lack of purpose that keeps them from achieving their true potential. If you have no long-term goals, your passive nature is probably to blame, and until you gain some purpose, you’ll stay stuck.
Trying To Please Everyone
Assertive people prioritize their boundaries when dealing with other people, but passive people do the opposite. They don’t want to cause disagreements because they prefer fading into the background, so they do their best to please everyone. Some people will take advantage of this, and passive people struggle to refuse unreasonable requests.
Refusing Help
Sometimes, everyone needs help getting back on track. However, it’s a typical passive habit to refuse help for two reasons: you don’t want to inconvenience others, and you feel you don’t deserve it. Breaking this mindset is hard, but it’s the only way to overcome your aversion to receiving help.
Putting Yourself Last
Putting others first shows you’re generous and kind-hearted, but prioritizing other people too often could mean you’re too passive. Your needs are important, too, and if you don’t look after them, you’ll have no energy, motivation, or desire to better your life. You need to prioritize yourself and figure out what you truly want.
Not Making Your Own Decisions
Taking initiative means actively deciding what you want to do and how you will get there. If making decisions terrifies you, your passive nature may override your motivation, which is detrimental to your future. If you let others rule your life, you’ll never leave the shadows and have your moment in the light.
Overworking Yourself
Passivity can be toxic because your feelings of low self-esteem manipulate you into trying to prove yourself, which can lead to overworking. This is a common passive habit, one that Psychology Today warns can lead to serious burnout. It’s detrimental to your physical and mental health, so give yourself a break.
Avoiding Uncomfortable Situations
Nobody wants to feel uncomfortable, but being able to handle difficult situations is an essential life skill. Passive people hate conflict, so they do everything they can to avoid it. However, this means they can’t stand up for themselves when threatened, and others view them as pushovers.
Awkward Body Language
Finally, your body language is a major indicator of your passive nature. Revolution Learning identifies hunching, avoiding eye contact, and fiddling with your clothes as examples of passive body language. Part of feeling confident is looking the part, so if you stand or act awkwardly, your passivity affects you more deeply than you realize.
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