If you’re a nice person, when someone is rude you’re usually so shocked that you’re speechless. To combat rudeness, usually some humor or kindness will do the trick. Here are some clever things to say when someone is being rude to you.
Are you OK?
When someone is rude to you, being rude in return will just escalate the situation, and you won’t feel any better. As Entrepreneur advises, choose not to give in to drama. If you look at the person with concern and ask them if they are okay, it will completely throw them off. They are probably having a bad day.
Thank you very much!
Use this if someone insults you. If you can say it in a happy, grateful tone of voice, as if you just received the nicest compliment ever, the look on their face will be priceless. Give them a big smile, too. They’ll be so confused and unsure whether you misheard them or you’re being deliberately obtuse.
Do you think that was necessary?
You know it wasn’t necessary, and they do, too. When you ask this after someone has been rude, it will force them to think about their behavior, and perhaps they’ll think twice before being rude to anyone else.
Thank you for your feedback
If you can acknowledge the comment without escalating the situation, this can disarm your rude aggressor and prevent things from getting more heated. Maintaining your composure can be important, especially when you’re in a public place or a professional setting.
I appreciate your perspective
This response will show that you are listening and that you acknowledge what the person said, without necessarily agreeing with the rude comment. A killing-with-kindness approach like this can subtly encourage the other person to take a more polite tone with you.
Can we try to keep things respectful?
Politely ask this question when someone has been rude. This question sets a boundary and signals that you know that things have gotten disrespectful and you’re not having it. The person who is being rude will realize that you aren’t going to put up with the disrespect and should calm things down before they get out of hand.
I understand that we might not agree
Acknowledging differences of opinion is important; it’s only natural that people have differing opinions, as none of us are the same, and that’s a good thing. Taking this route when someone is being rude to you may steer the conversation to one where you find some common ground.
That was hurtful
Often, when people are being rude, it’s because they’re angry. Harvard Business Review suggests you use language that deflects the blame from the other person and focuses on the behavior’s effect on you. It’s not personal, and it’s not on purpose. When you let them know they hurt you, it may make them stop and think.
Can we talk about this later?
In a conversation where one party is getting a little nasty, asking, ‘Can we talk about this later?’ is a good way to introduce them to a quick cooling-off period. A time-out can prevent the situation from escalating, and it can be revisited when both parties are less emotional and more rational.
Please speak more slowly; I want to understand
When you ask someone to slow down in a heated situation, it shows them you are interested in understanding their point, which can de-escalate tensions. When you slow a conversation down it can help both parties understand each other better and make sure there are no misunderstandings.
I would prefer if we were nice to each other
Being direct about requesting kindness can remind the other person how important it is to be respectful and civil. Time Magazine notes the importance of combating rudeness with elegance. If you exhibit the kind and respectful behavior you expect from others, it can influence their actions in a positive way.
That’s an interesting point of view
Acknowledging an opinion but not actually agreeing with it allows you to remain neutral and composed in the face of rudeness. An unobjectionable response like this one can prompt the other person to rethink their approach, especially if their statement was baseless or rude.
Could you clarify what you mean?
Sometimes it’s hard to know if someone is being rude, so asking for clarification can help you ensure that you fully understand the intent behind what they’re saying. This question can also give the other person a chance to correct any unintentional (or otherwise) rudeness or to phrase their words in a more respectful way.
Can we focus on the issue?
When a discussion gets a little heated, sometimes people can get sidetracked by other issues that they may be upset about. This statement will bring them back to the conversation they’re supposed to be having. Steering the conversation back to the main issue can prevent personal attacks and keep things productive.
I’m not comfortable continuing this conversation right now
Psych Central explains the importance of clearly stating your boundaries. Expressing your discomfort with the conversation’s direction will show that a line has been crossed and your boundaries are being pushed. Pressing pause on a heated conversation is always a good idea to prevent either party from saying things that they might regret.
OK, let’s move on
A conversation that seems to be leading to rudeness is not going to be productive. This phrase can effectively close a topic that is getting heated and is going to just cause arguments and waste everybody’s time. Once the topic is shut down, you can shift focus to more constructive topics without lingering on negativity.
You seem very passionate about this
To calm a situation where someone is being rude out of frustration, acknowledging the emotion behind the speaker’s words can help validate their feelings and let them know that you’re hearing them. Once they know they’re being heard, you can redirect their passion toward more positive and constructive discussions.
Up Next: 20 Things Your Boss Is Legally Forbidden to Ask of You
The workplace should be a professional environment free from discrimination and harassment. While employers have the authority to ask questions regarding legal work obligations, there are certain personal boundaries they cannot cross. Whether it’s an invasion of privacy or an unfair request, here are 20 examples of things your boss is legally prohibited from asking of you.
20 Things Your Boss Is Legally Forbidden to Ask of You
18 Things That Say You Are Middle-Class and Not Rich
The difference between the rich and middle class can be confusing, but the two couldn’t be further from each other in reality. In this article, we look at 18 signs that someone is middle class but not at all rich or wealthy.
18 Things That Say You Are Middle-Class and Not Rich
18 Most Dangerous Cities in the World (5 Are in America)
Across the globe, there are many places you don’t want to find yourself because of the crimes waiting to occur. Sometimes, even nature can be cruel to you. This is particularly the case in the following 18 most dangerous cities in the world, five of which are in America!