Deep-rooted insecurities can have long-term consequences for a person’s emotional well-being, relationships, and potential. Confronting insecurity is hard, especially if you don’t understand how to spot it. To help you in the future, here are 20 characteristics of someone who’s insecure.
They’re Perfectionists
Feeling like nothing you do is ever good enough is debilitating, which is why insecure people are usually committed perfectionists. They want to prove themselves to others while also convincing their inner voices that they’re capable, so they overwork to ensure everything is perfect and often break down when it isn’t.
Jealousy Issues
Psychology Today pinpoints insecurity as a primary source of jealousy, blaming an impoverished ego or low self-esteem. This is often the case in romantic relationships, where one partner subconsciously feels they aren’t good enough, so they take their insecurities out on the other person.
They Doubt Themselves
A lack of trust in yourself is a clear characteristic of insecurity. When your inner voice constantly criticizes you, you become stuck in a cycle of self-doubt. They manipulate you, convincing you that you won’t succeed, so you become risk-averse and stop chasing the things you want in life.
Trust Issues
Insecure people struggle to trust others, making them seem untrustworthy in return. An insecure partner, for instance, might accuse you of infidelity because their mind is making them believe they can’t trust you. This lack of trust destroys relationships and makes it harder for insecure people to form meaningful attachments.
Feelings of Inferiority
Insecurities can lead to an ‘inferiority complex,’ which will consume a person’s entire life, making them constantly compare themselves to people they think are superior. These feelings of inferiority cause individuals to adopt a ‘why bother’ attitude, with no motivation to change because they don’t believe they can.
Seeking Validation
Sometimes, insecurities make people desperate for external validation, so they seek approval from anyone who will give it. Psych Central points out that people with low self-esteem commonly become people pleasers as a coping mechanism to get that much-needed validation. However, this approval is never enough to satisfy insecurities.
Struggling to Accept Compliments
Paying someone a compliment is a thoughtful gesture that can improve their day. However, insecure people struggle to accept them because they contradict their beliefs. It’s a sad fact of life, but trying to compliment someone to counter their insecurity might draw them further into themselves.
Self-Deprecation
If someone always says things like, ‘I’m so stupid’ or ‘I can’t do anything right,’ you might think they’re seeking attention. However, extreme self-deprecation can also mean the speaker genuinely believes these things. Their insecurities have made them think they’re incapable, so this may be the only way they’re comfortable sharing these insecurities.
Anxiety Disorders
Anxiety is detrimental to your mental health because it infiltrates all the things you love and poisons them. Insecurities often lead to anxiety because they make you worry about everything. You might perform poorly at work, mess up on a date, or sabotage your own ambitions just because you’re anxious about failure.
Lacking Confidence
Insecure people struggle to assert themselves out of fear of being examined too closely. This lack of confidence invades their lives, discouraging them from pursuing relationships and new opportunities. As a result, their confidence wanes further, and they decline to stand up for themselves or make their voices heard in important conversations.
Avoiding Social Situations
It’s disappointing when a friend cancels on you, but there might be a deeper reason than flakiness. People who are insecure sometimes struggle with social situations because they don’t want to be scrutinized, so they avoid engaging altogether. Help Guide blames negative self-talk, which makes insecure people panic during public interactions.
Extreme Introversion
Introverts aren’t always insecure, but extreme introversion can evolve out of long-term insecurity. Insecure people tend to draw into themselves, fostering negative feelings and struggling to find a way to redefine their lives. As a result, they spend more time alone and struggle to engage meaningfully with others.
Feelings of Inadequacy
Insecurity is defined by feelings of inadequacy, which include unworthiness, unhappiness, and sensitivity. Nothing in life will ever seem good enough to someone plagued by these feelings. Their whole life is defined by negative emotions, which can sadly make others not want to be around an insecure person.
Poor Communication
Social anxiety is common among insecure people, and it’s typically characterized by an inability to communicate effectively. When somebody worries about sounding stupid, they either avoid speaking or overcompensate by saying too much. This can make conversations feel awkward, but others need to be patient and not discourage the insecure person.
They’re Paranoid
Like jealousy, insecure people also become paranoid due to their feelings of inferiority. According to Verywell Mind, this paranoia is due to insecure attachments, which are characterized by anxious and unpredictable behavior. Insecurities send the brain into overdrive, and the person becomes paranoid about everything and everyone in their lives.
Negative Thinking
Unfortunately, negative thoughts are just as powerful as positive thoughts, and insecure people usually have them in abundance. They overthink and sabotage themselves in response to negative thinking, which can be soul-consuming. Bad thoughts also lead to emotional outbursts, which further deteriorate a person’s mental health.
They’re Indecisive
When your brain’s go-to activity is to sabotage you, it can be difficult to be assertive. Insecure people will be indecisive, as they might not know what they want or what will make them happy. Indecision makes things like social withdrawal and poor work performance worse because decisions are paralyzed, preventing change.
They’re Arrogant
When a negative inner voice constantly berates an insecure person, they might develop a louder external voice to compensate. This often comes across as arrogance, with the insecure person bragging about their achievements. As an arrogant person, they lack self-confidence, so they put on an over-the-top performance instead.
Avoiding Eye Contact
Eye contact is essential to non-verbal communication, but many insecure people avoid it. The Cut emphasizes the importance of direct eye contact in sharing social information, so avoiding it can change the tone of a conversation. Insecure people do this because they feel exposed or uncomfortable when confronted with others.
They Get Defensive
Finally, defensiveness is also a characteristic of an insecure person because they don’t want to be confronted about their behavior. When questioned, they may insist everything is fine or become frustrated, telling the person to back off. It’s good to set boundaries with defensive people because their insecurities impact their engagement with you.
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