There’s a fine line between being seen as rude and being seen as assertive. Naturally, the tone of voice that you use is important as well as what you are saying, but if you use a friendly but confident tone, these assertive phrases should work without sounding rude.
“I understand your point, but I see it differently”
It’s important to acknowledge the viewpoints that other people can bring to the table and show respect for their perspective before you put your own opinion across. This phrase, while stating your own view clearly and respectfully, asserts your position without negating anyone else’s.
“I’m not comfortable with that, let’s consider our alternatives”
When we express our discomfort and then follow up with a decision or suggestion, this can be assertive without seeming confrontational. If we suggest alternative solutions that everyone is comfortable with, this will make sure the conversation stays constructive, and keep things moving forward, and as Verywellmind states, being clear about our boundaries is important for everyone.
“Let’s look for a solution that works for us both”
Maintaining respectful and constructive interactions is vital in a lot of situations, and this phrase should encourage people to work together to solve whatever problem you need a solution to. Use this phrase when your goal is to reach a win-win situation that will keep all parties engaged and satisfied.
“Thank you for your patience as I work through this”
You can show appreciation for the time and understanding of other people by thanking them for their patience. Saying thanks will encourage goodwill and respect, according to Silicon Republic as will communication and keeping others informed about your progress, and whatever challenges you are facing, so that all parties know what they are dealing with.
“I appreciate your effort, however, I need something different”
Positive reinforcement is an encouraging way to tell someone that they didn’t do what you wanted. Beginning your criticism with a show of appreciation can soften the blow of the following negative feedback, making it easier for the other person to accept. Stating what you need after this phrase will help to guide the interaction to a positive place.
“I’ll need some more time to think this over”
If you want to give a carefully considered response to a question without seeming rude or giving the wrong answer, use this phrase to set some boundaries around your decision-making time. Making an important decision should not be rushed, and it will be beneficial for everyone involved if you are thorough in your considerations.
“That’s interesting; I hadn’t considered that before”
This is a lovely, respectful way to show that you are listening, an important part of assertive communication, says Psych Central. It shows that you are curious and interested in what other people have to say. It will encourage further discussion and deeper exploration of the topic at hand, and inspire more new ideas.
“I would prefer if we could…”
If you find yourself feeling like people are imposing on you, but you don’t want to be rude, try to politely guide others to understand your perspective with this phrase. Starting a request with “I would prefer if we could…” can help you express your preferences clearly while also appearing more amenable and less demanding.
“Can we revisit this at another time?”
There’s a time and a place for certain things, and if someone is bringing something up that you can’t deal with right then, this is a perfect phrase to use. The right time for certain discussions can influence how effective the communication can be, and postponing a discussion can prevent the conversation from becoming unproductive.
“I believe we can do better”
The perfect phrase to use after a failure or let-down. This shows you still believe in the team’s abilities, and potential for improvement, but it doesn’t directly criticize any past efforts. People can be motivated by a focus on future improvements.
“Your input is important to me”
People need to believe that their efforts and opinions are valued. This kind of encouragement will foster open communication and mutual respect. This phrase can help to ensure that all opinions are considered and that everyone knows they are being heard, which is vital in team settings.
“Please let me finish my point”
It’s hard not to snap and be rude when someone is interrupting you. But if you do that, you won’t be taken seriously. This phrase is an assertive way to let people know that you’re not rude, or a pushover, but it can also help to foster a culture of respect where everyone’s contributions are listened to.
“Let’s focus on the issue at hand”
It is all too easy to get distracted or go off on a tangent, especially when there are a few people involved in a conversation or situation. However, if your matter is pressing and needs attention, this phrase will help to gently steer conversations back to the main issue when they go off track.
“Could you elaborate on that point?”
A much more polite way to ask a person what on earth they are talking about, don’t you think? Asking for clarification on a point you don’t quite understand will prevent miscommunication, making sure that everyone is on the same page, explains Critical Financial. It will encourage the speaker to provide more detail and benefit all participants in the conversation.
“I would like to add my perspective”
The perfect non-rude, very assertive way to get another person to be quiet and let you speak. This phrase also helps to show that you are being inclusive and respectful to the ongoing discussion, and more importantly, can encourage other people to come forward with their perspectives too.
“I value your expertise, but could we explore other options?”
When you want to explore alternatives for doing something but don’t want to make anyone feel like they aren’t good enough, it can be important to acknowledge their expertise while also expressing a desire to look elsewhere for options. When new and fresh options come into play, this can encourage diversity and innovation.
“Thank you for waiting, I’m now ready to discuss this”
If people have been waiting for you to address an issue, it’s nice to acknowledge their patience, but this is how you do it in an assertive way that won’t make you seem like a pushover or like you have been rudely wasting their time. Expressing your readiness in this way will push focus onto the conversation.
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