R-E-S-P-E-C-T. It’s an important part of nearly every social interaction we have, even with those we don’t know well. It shows that others see us as equals and is reinforced by how we act, speak, and look. But there are certain behaviors that will instantly make other people think less of you—here are the 20 actions that will almost always lose you respect with the average adult.
Deception
Not even dishonest people like other dishonest people, and being caught out trying to trick someone or manipulate a situation with lies is guaranteed to paint you in a negative light. And there’s no going back from it, either. Once you’re known to be deceptive, people will regard you with suspicion and vigilance; they will ultimately respect and trust you a whole lot less.
Arrogance
According to CoachHub, arrogance is excessive confidence without self-awareness or humility and often manifests as self-obsession and narcissism. If you constantly brag, put others down, or act superior, other people will quickly become tired of your company. They’ll lose respect for you and your opinions and assume everything you say is influenced by your inflated ego!
Spreading Rumors
Spreading negativity about others is a sign of insecurity and a lack of character. It shows you to be fundamentally unpleasant and untrustworthy to everyone, even those you’re not gossiping about. If you’re willing to talk behind someone’s back, what’s to stop you from doing the same about them? The answer is—nothing. People won’t trust or like you, and you’ll lose respect.
Disrespecting Boundaries
No one respects someone who constantly ignores the physical and emotional boundaries of others. This could include unwanted physical contact, prying questions about sensitive topics, or disregarding a clear “no” when others are uncomfortable. You don’t get respect without showing some, so always pay attention to the limits of others, especially when they differ from your own.
Constant Complaining
It can be mentally exhausting and draining to be around somebody who constantly complains or is consistently negative about the world and everyone in it. While we all have our bad days and unlucky setbacks, try not to burden other people excessively. Negativity breeds negativity, and people eventually lose respect for someone who never has anything positive to say.
Using People
People won’t respect you if you use others for your own gain, whether emotionally or financially. Luck Collective says, “Feeling exploited or unappreciated, as though your generosity is being siphoned without reciprocation, ignites a sense of injustice.” This is also true for observers who aren’t being ‘used’ themselves and may involve not repaying money or favors or abusing a person’s kindness.
Blaming Others
Part of being a respected adult is taking responsibility for your own actions and owning up to mistakes whenever they occur. People who constantly shift the blame onto others or make excuses for their poor behavior or performance seem childish and untrustworthy. You might suffer some loss of respect for the error, but you’ll eventually gain much more by learning from it.
Being Disrespectful
Putting someone down in public by yelling, mocking them, or using insulting or derogatory language is a surefire way to lose respect. Everyone gets angry or frustrated sometimes, but mature adults handle disagreements with care and discretion. Public displays of disrespect humiliate and belittle the other person, while also making you look immature and out of control.
Cheating
Cheaters are universally disliked and disrespected because they make life more unfair and unequal for everyone and highlight that a person is willing to lie for their own gain. Whether it’s in a romantic relationship, a game, or a professional setting, cheating is a form of betrayal and will put a permanent black mark on your character, singling you out as sly and untrustworthy.
Flakiness
If you constantly break promises, show up late, or seem generally unreliable, you show a lack of respect for other people’s feelings, time, and commitments. Well+Good states that flakiness is a worrying sign and that others often regard consistent unreliability as a ‘red flag,’ making them lose respect for you and ultimately stop trying to engage with or include you in their lives.
Never Following Through
We all know dreamers who talk big but never seem to do much, and that’s all well and good until their promises affect or disappoint others. If you want to be respected, only promise or commit to things you can deliver or show up for, and don’t procrastinate if your inaction will negatively impact others. People only respect those who are reliable, dependable, and truthful.
Cutting Corners
Laziness will result in disrespect if it ultimately means other people have to do more work to compensate for your inaction or sloppiness. Behaviors like cutting corners, putting in minimal effort, making excuses, or producing low-quality group work will build resentment and distrust. If you want respect, put in some effort and do your fair share of work to the best of your ability.
Breaking Promises
A broken promise destroys trust and paints you as a person who doesn’t deserve respect. Even a small promise can be important and remembered by another person (especially a child), so never say you’ll do something or be somewhere unless you’re positive you can deliver. People who make promises they have no intention of keeping quickly lose respect and credibility.
Public Displays of Affection (PDA)
Verywell Mind asserts that PDA can be beneficial to romantic relationships, but there is a time and a place for touching, hugging, and kissing your partner. People who ignore social rules or commonly accepted boundaries can make others feel uncomfortable and quickly lose their respect. Be mindful of where you are and who you’re with before indulging in PDA.
Oversharing
Being well-liked means ‘reading’ people and situations and acting appropriately. If you tell all your deepest, darkest secrets to your new work colleague or a stranger, they’ll lose respect for you and assume you have no privacy boundaries. Only confide personal details about things like your finances, sex life, or past trauma with those who know you well and are comfortable discussing such topics.
Interrupting Others
No one likes or respects someone who dominates conversations, monologues, or interrupts others. A good conversation involves ‘give and take,’ so monopolizing the discussion shows a lack of respect on your part and will certainly lose you the respect of others. Respectable individuals actively listen, ask questions, and never talk over others.
Putting Yourself Down
Constantly engaging in negative talk about yourself can be surprisingly draining for others, who may need to constantly boost your confidence, pay you compliments, or deny what you’re saying about yourself. Chronic negativity and putting yourself down show a lack of self-respect, making it difficult for others to respect you.
Unhygienic or Disheveled Appearance
We all suffer wardrobe malfunctions and one-off hygiene fails, but don’t be the person who’s constantly messy, smelly, or visually unclean! Failing to care for yourself makes you seem sloppy, unorganized, socially unaware, and lacking self-respect. If you want to be respected, respect yourself and properly care for your personal needs and appearance.
Entitlement
Nothing screams selfish like a “me first” mentality or an inflated sense of entitlement. Aim to be genuinely thankful for what you have and never act dismissively about aspects of your life that others may aspire to or envy. An entitled attitude that expects things without putting in the effort creates negativity and will ultimately erode any respect other people have for you.
Bullying
Putting others down, using threats, or deliberately intimidating others is a significant personality flaw, and bullies are rarely well-respected individuals. Bullying can make you seem malicious, insecure, and hostile, and others will probably avoid you or treat you with suspicion and mistrust. Respected individuals treat others with dignity, regardless of their position or power.
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