In the past, etiquette was a fundamental part of growing up. Children were expected to learn and practice good manners, both at home and in public. However, as parenting styles shifted, many traditional manners faded into obscurity. Here are some good manners that seem to have disappeared with modern parenting.
Saying “Please” and “Thank You”
It used to be common courtesy to say “please” when making a request and “thank you” when receiving something. These simple words conveyed respect and appreciation. Today, however, many children and even adults overlook these phrases, leading to interactions that can seem entitled or impolite.
Teaching children the importance of gratitude and respectful requests can go a long way in improving social interactions.
Holding the Door Open for Others
There was a time when holding the door open for someone was a basic sign of politeness. Whether it was for an elderly person, a parent with a stroller, or just the person behind you, this small act of kindness was common practice. Now, many people are too absorbed in their phones or simply unaware of those around them, for this simple gesture of respect.
Writing Thank-You Notes
To receive a gift or favor used to be followed by a handwritten thank-you note. This small but meaningful practice showed appreciation and effort. Today, with the rise of text messaging and social media, handwritten thank-you notes have almost disappeared. Digital acknowledgments are better than nothing, but they lack the personal touch and sincerity of a well-thought-out note.
Proper Table Manners
Table manners were an essential part of family meals. Children were taught not to talk with their mouths full, to place napkins in their laps, and to wait until everyone was served before eating. With meals now often eaten in front of screens or on the go, these once-important rules are becoming a thing of the past.
Addressing Adults with Respect
It was once customary for children to address adults as “Mr.,” “Mrs.,” or “Miss” as a sign of respect. Nowadays, it’s far more common for kids to call adults by their first names, sometimes even without permission.
Teaching Kids to Say “Excuse Me”
Back in the day, saying “excuse me” when interrupting someone, sneezing, or needing to pass through a crowded space was once a standard practice. However, many young people today appear to lack this basic courtesy.
Instead of waiting politely, interruptions are more common, and the awareness of others’ personal space has significantly declined.
Making Eye Contact During Conversations
Good eye contact has long been a sign of confidence and attentiveness. However, with the rise of screens and digital distractions, many young people struggle to maintain eye contact during conversations. This can make interactions feel impersonal or dismissive, as looking someone in the eye is an essential part of effective communication and building trust.
Greeting People with a Handshake
A firm handshake was once a universal sign of respect and professionalism. While the pandemic contributed to a decline in handshakes, the trend was already fading as fewer young people were taught the importance of a good handshake.
These days, greetings are often reduced to a casual nod or an impersonal wave, missing an opportunity for connection and confidence-building.
Respecting Personal Space
There was a time when folk were taught to be mindful of personal space, understanding that standing too close or touching someone without permission was inappropriate. Today, the rise of crowded social environments and the normalization of digital interaction have blurred the lines of personal boundaries, making this once-common courtesy less prevalent.
Knowing How to Be a Good Guest
Bringing a small gift when visiting someone’s home, offering to help with cleanup, and not overstaying a welcome were all standard etiquette rules for being a good guest. Sadly, these thoughtful practices are often overlooked today.
Many guests fail to acknowledge the effort of a host, and hosting itself has become a less formal and appreciated role.
Not Using Phones at the Dinner Table
Family dinners used to be a time for connection and conversation. However, in the age of smartphones, many people, including children, spend meal times scrolling through their screens instead of engaging with family members. This shift has led to a decline in meaningful conversations and an increase in social detachment during meals.
Offering a Seat to Someone in Need
An unspoken rule of politeness on a bus, train, or in a waiting room, was to offer a seat to an elderly person, pregnant woman, or someone with a disability. Today, many people remain glued to their screens, ignoring those around them who may need a seat more.
Teaching children to be aware of and considerate toward others in public spaces can help revive this simple but important act of kindness.
Speaking in a Respectful Tone
Tone of voice plays a significant role in communication, and the baby boomer generation was taught to speak to elders and authority figures with respect. Today, disrespectful or sarcastic tones are more common, especially in younger people who have grown up with casual online interactions.
Being Punctual
To arrive on time was once considered a basic sign of respect for others’ time. Busy schedules and unexpected delays do happen, but chronic lateness has become more common in today’s world.
With text messages making it easier to say, “I’m running late,” the expectation of punctuality has weakened, making it more acceptable to keep others waiting.
Apologizing When Necessary
The ability to sincerely apologize when in the wrong used to be a key component of social etiquette. However, many people today struggle with accountability, often justifying their actions rather than admitting mistakes. As you can imagine, teaching children the value of a genuine apology can help them develop stronger, more respectful relationships in the long run.