First dates are daunting for most people, so it can be easy to slip up and ask something you regret later. A good way to solve this issue is to prepare a few questions that most people respond well to and remember the biggest ones to avoid. To help you do just that, let’s take a look at a few topics you should avoid completely and some must-ask questions that can turn a good date into a great one.
“How much money do you make?”
Nothing kills the vibe faster than bringing up finances too soon. Asking about someone’s salary on a first date makes it seem like you’re more interested in their bank account than who they are as a person. Money can be an important conversation later on, but in the early stages, it just feels invasive.
“Why are you still single?”
This might sound like a compliment, like you’re amazed they haven’t been scooped up yet, but it almost always comes across the wrong way. It puts your date in an awkward position, forcing them to explain their past relationships or make excuses for their current status.
“How many people have you dated?”
Bringing up relationship history too soon can make a fun date feel like an interrogation. Whether your date has been in a few serious relationships or dozens of short-term flings, it’s personal information that shouldn’t have to be disclosed on night one. People don’t want to feel judged for their past, and this question often leads to unnecessary comparisons.
“Do you want kids?”
This is a big one, and while it’s an important topic in long-term relationships, bringing it up too soon can feel overwhelming. Some people aren’t sure yet, while others have strong opinions on the matter. But on a first date, it can make things unnecessarily heavy.
“Who did you vote for?”
Politics can be a dealbreaker for some people, but on a first date, it’s usually best to steer clear of this topic. Unless you’re both passionate about political discussions, it can lead to unnecessary tension. Even if you agree on most things, diving into debates about policies and politicians too soon can make the date feel more like a debate club than a romantic evening.
“What’s your biggest flaw?”
Nobody wants to list their weaknesses over dinner. This question can make someone feel like they’re being put on the spot, as if they’re in a job interview instead of a casual date. Plus, it can lead to answers that are either too self-deprecating or overly rehearsed.
“How much do you weigh?”
This one should go without saying, but just in case – it’s a no. Asking about someone’s weight is intrusive, uncomfortable, and completely unnecessary. No matter how you phrase it, it’s going to come across as rude. People’s bodies are their own business, and there’s absolutely no reason to bring this up on a date (or ever, really).
“Can I see your phone?”
No matter whether it’s a joke or a serious request, this question sets off huge alarm bells. Asking to see someone’s phone on a first date makes it seem like you don’t trust them, even though you just met. It also invades their personal space in a way that can feel uncomfortable.
“Why did your last relationship end?”
Bringing up exes too soon is almost always a bad move. No one wants to spend a first date rehashing their past breakups or explaining why things didn’t work out with someone else. This question can stir up old emotions or make the conversation take a turn for the negative.
If your date brings up their past relationships naturally, that’s one thing. But forcing the topic makes it seem like you’re more interested in their baggage than in getting to know them.
“Are you seeing anyone else right now?”
Dating in the modern world can be complicated, but grilling someone about their romantic status too soon can make you seem possessive. Until there’s an actual relationship on the table, people are free to date around. If exclusivity is important to you, that’s a conversation for later, not something to demand answers about on the first date.
“What’s something you’re really passionate about?”
Now let’s take a look at a few great questions you can ask instead. This one is a wonderful way to start things off. When people discuss their passions, their energy shifts – they become more animated, their eyes light up, and you get a real glimpse into what makes them tick. Plus, if you happen to share a similar passion, it’s an instant bonding moment.
“What’s your favorite way to spend a weekend?”
How someone spends their free time says a lot about them. This question gives you insight into their lifestyle and whether it aligns with yours. Do they love a jam-packed weekend filled with travel, brunch, and socializing? Or do they prefer a cozy, laid-back couple of days filled with movies, books, and relaxation? There’s no right or wrong answer, but it’s a great way to see if your ideal weekends match up.
“What’s the best trip you’ve ever been on?”
Travel is a topic that almost always leads to engaging conversation. Even if someone isn’t a frequent traveler, they likely have a memorable trip from their past – a childhood vacation, a spontaneous road trip, or even a local getaway that stood out.
“Do you have any pets?”
For many people, pets are family. Asking about furry (or scaly) companions is a great way to bring out heartwarming stories and learn about your date’s relationship with animals. If they do have pets, chances are they’ll be excited to talk about them, and you might even get to see some cute photos.
If they don’t have any, their response can still tell you whether they’re an animal lover, allergic, or simply not interested.
“What’s the most random fun fact you know?”
This question keeps things light and playful, which is perfect for a first date. It can lead to some hilarious or unexpected responses. It also lets you see how they think and what kind of quirky knowledge they have.
“What’s one thing on your bucket list?”
Everyone has dreams, and asking about bucket list items is a great way to learn about your date’s aspirations. Their answer could range from adrenaline-fueled adventures like skydiving to more personal goals like writing a book or learning a new language. This question helps you see what excites them about the future and what kind of experiences they hope to have.
“What’s your go-to comfort food?”
Food is a universal love language, and this question adds a personal touch to the topic. Comfort food often has nostalgic value, reminding people of home-cooked meals, childhood memories, or favorite traditions. Your date’s response could lead to a discussion about favorite restaurants, guilty pleasure snacks, or even a shared love of the same dish.
“If you could have dinner with any person, living or dead, who would it be?”
This question reveals a lot about someone’s interests, values, and inspirations. It also provides an opportunity for follow-up questions – why did they choose that person? What would they ask them? This kind of conversation can lead to meaningful discussions while still keeping things light and enjoyable.