Most of us try to be an open book, but some people are hard to read, keeping their true colors hidden from others. Here are 20 subtle behaviors and habits you should pay attention to if you want to learn more about someone’s true personality.
How They Take Criticism
Nobody enjoys criticism, but it’s integral for personal and professional development. How somebody responds to criticism says a lot about how they think of themselves. Do they become argumentative and insist they’re always right? Or do they listen and make active changes? The ability to gracefully accept criticism is an essential life skill.
Their Response to a Crisis
Knowing how you’ll act in a crisis is difficult, but you can tell a lot about a person’s true personality by how they respond when something goes wrong. Taking control when others panic is a sign someone is responsible, whereas playing the blame game shows immaturity and a lack of accountability.
How They Treat Strangers
According to American Scientist, people feel less responsible for their behavior towards strangers, so it speaks to a person’s character when they’re willing to be a good Samaritan. People who take the time to smile at, talk to, and help strangers are indiscriminately kind people who enjoy looking out for others.
Their Actions When Provoked
Another easy way to discover someone’s true colors is to observe how they react to provocation. Do they keep their cool and remove themselves from the situation? Or do they lash out? Plenty of people lose their cool when provoked, but a level-headed person can handle conflict without unnecessarily escalating it.
How They Treat Their Friends
Unfortunately, many people are rude to strangers, and some also treat their friends poorly. Someone who is happy to gossip about their friends, compete with them, or put them down is not a nice person. Meanwhile, kind people who are secure in themselves will lift others up and enjoy watching their friends succeed.
How They Respond to Failure
You can really learn someone’s true personality when they’ve failed at something. Failure causes some people to give up or lash out at those around them. Others are able to adapt and use failure to motivate themselves. The latter kind are more resilient and take accountability for their lives.
Their Body Language
Body language is one of the biggest non-verbal indicators of someone’s true personality. Verywell Mind teaches that body language potentially accounts for up to 65% of all communication, revealing a lot about us. People with more relaxed body language are usually more open and friendly than those who close themselves off.
How They Argue
Arguments have the potential to make or break relationships, so you can tell a lot about a person by watching them argue. Aggressive people take any opportunity to argue, even if it means instigating. In contrast, more reasonable people try to keep calm and diffuse things before they get out of control.
Their Response to Upsetting Others
Sometimes, we say or do things that upset other people. Even if we didn’t intend to hurt their feelings, it’s still appropriate to apologize and try to make amends. Someone who refuses to take responsibility for their words or actions is callous and immature.
How They Engage With Drama
Many adults never grow out of enjoying teenage-level drama, so it’s indicative of someone’s personality and mental age if they’re often starting rumors or spreading gossip. People with no time for petty drama are more well-adjusted and usually have better self-esteem because they don’t need to put others down to elevate themselves.
How They Treat Animals
It’s universally accepted that you can judge someone’s true personality based on how they treat animals. People who neglect, abuse, or otherwise mistreat animals demonstrate a distinct lack of empathy, and it may reflect how they treat people, too. If an animal trusts someone, it’s a sign they give off good energy.
Their Relationship History
Plenty of people have left bad relationships, but you can tell a lot about someone’s personality based on their romantic history. For instance, a person whose exes were all ‘toxic’ or ‘crazy’ is more likely to be the problem themselves. A history of failed relationships indicates emotional immaturity and a lack of accountability.
Their Hobbies
We choose hobbies based on our preferences, so they tell us a lot about ourselves. Hobbies like painting, writing, and photography suggest someone is creative and detail-oriented. People who prefer physical hobbies are motivated and disciplined. We dedicate ourselves to our hobbies, so they’re a good way to learn more about someone.
Their Social Media Presence
Many people are fake on social media, but what someone posts says a lot about them. According to Psychology Today, personality predicts what we do on social media, with conscientious people typically posting less and extroverts spending more time interacting with others.
How They Act Around Different People
We tailor our personalities to the groups we spend time with, so it’s natural for someone to act differently with co-workers than with friends. However, if somebody puts on a different persona for everyone they engage with, they’re likely performative and trying to conceal their true personality.
How They Respond to ‘No’
Consent is essential for healthy interactions, so how someone responds to hearing ‘no’ says a lot. People who respect others’ refusal of anything, even if it disappoints them, are honorable, and people feel safe around them. Meanwhile, people who get angry or try to pressure others to give in are entitled and hostile.
How Generous They Are
You can tell a lot about someone based on how generously they behave. Somebody who puts others first and is always ready to offer emotional support is truly generous. However, extravagant generosity sometimes comes across as performative, so pay attention to the little things.
How They Achieve Their Ambitions
Being willing to do anything to achieve your ambitions might sound admirable, but how you chase success reflects your true personality. Ruthless people are prepared to throw others under the bus to get what they want. Having goals is important, but some people make their ambitions their entire personality.
Their Social Reputation
We often make assumptions about people based on what we’ve heard, so reputations hold a lot of power. Psychology Today refers specifically to a ‘social’ reputation, which has adverse emotional and social implications if negative. If nobody has a nice word to say about someone, chances are they’ve got an off-putting personality.
How They Speak About Themselves
Last but not least, the easiest way to discern somebody’s true personality is to listen to what they say about themselves. Someone who constantly blows their own horn is self-absorbed, whereas someone who puts themselves down is overly self-critical. We often reveal our true thoughts like this, so pay attention to how someone regards themselves.