In relationships, misunderstandings can often lead to arguments—and some people believe women are responsible for the vast majority of them. While it’s a myth that any one gender is responsible for the most disputes, we’re going to explore 17 reasons why it may seem this way to some.
Differences in Communication Styles
Women often use conversation to seek comfort or establish intimacy, which might be misinterpreted. Men, on the other hand, might use communication to assert independence or negotiate status, which can clash with relationship building. Misunderstandings arise when the intentions behind words are not aligned or clearly understood by both parties.
Jealousy and Insecurity
Both genders exhibit jealousy, and feelings of jealousy or insecurity can lead to accusations and mistrust. A lack of confidence in the relationship can manifest as defensive or accusatory behavior, which some men believe women are more likely to voice, subsequently causing arguments.
Emotional Expressiveness
According to the NIH, women tend to show greater emotional expressivity than men. This can sometimes be overwhelming or misunderstood by their partners. Men are also often taught to suppress emotions, leading to withdrawal in arguments, which can escalate the frustration of their partners.
Handling Stress and Conflict
Men often choose to retreat and deal with issues internally or avoid discussing them, which can be seen as dismissive, whereas women often want to discuss problems and find interpersonal solutions, which might be perceived as nagging. These differing coping mechanisms can trigger arguments.
Societal and Cultural Expectations
Another reason why it seems that women start a lot of arguments is differing societal norms. Men may feel the pressure to be less emotional, which can prevent open communication and resolution of conflicts, but women often feel pressure to maintain harmony. This can cause them to get angry when men aren’t behaving in the same manner.
Perception and Sensitivity to Issues
Women might be more sensitive to certain issues which they perceive as important to relationship stability. And men might prioritize different issues, leading to conflicts over what each partner considers pressing. The discrepancy in prioritizing issues can lead to misunderstandings and arguments, which men tend to blame women for.
Past Baggage
Past experiences in relationships can influence how women and men react in conflicts. As shared by Marriage.com, “Emotional baggage leads a person to become fearful of being hurt again.” Sadly, unresolved issues from the past can resurface in new relationships. Previous relationship experiences can influence current behaviors and reactions, leading to conflicts.
Expectations and Assumptions
Women might expect emotional support and understanding in a way that they typically express it themselves, whereas men might assume independence or problem-solving approaches are preferred, leading to clashes. Women can get frustrated when men don’t respond in the way they’d like.
Stress From Other Life Areas
External pressures, such as work stress or financial worries, can spill over into home life and increase the likelihood of arguments. The differences in handling external stress can also cause one partner to misinterpret the other’s behavior as a lack of support.
Influence of External Relationships
Friends and family can really influence perceptions within a relationship, sometimes fueling conflicts. Different family cultures and values can also create clashes that may not be directly related to the couple’s personal issues. It’s often viewed that women are more influenced by their external relationships, which is why they’re believed to cause more arguments.
Communication Technology
“Social media use can lead to less quality in-person time spent with loved ones and relationship dissatisfaction,” as per Medical News Today. Miscommunications through texts or social media can also escalate into arguments due to a lack of tone or immediate feedback. Some men state that this is something else that women often argue about.
Differences in Decision-Making Styles
Women might prefer collaborative and consultative approaches in decision-making while men might opt for more hierarchical or authoritative styles, which can lead to power struggles and subsequent arguments. Understanding and respecting different decision-making styles can ease negotiations and reduce conflicts.
Financial Management
The differences in spending habits and financial management between men and women can lead to serious disagreements. Men can get easily offended when it comes to money and so may take their partner’s questions in the wrong way, assuming they’re starting a fight. Discussions about money can also trigger deeper issues of trust and security.
Parenting Styles
Differing beliefs about parenting can cause significant strife between partners and conflicts can arise from different cultural expectations or personal experiences with parenting. More often than not, women are the ones instigating arguments about parenting, as they’re the ones taking most of the responsibility and are therefore frustrated.
Intimacy and Affection
Discrepancies in the need for physical closeness and affection can lead to feelings of rejection or pressure. According to The Awareness Centre, a lack of intimacy can cause communication problems, low self-esteem, loneliness, and more—all of which can cause arguments.
Unmet Expectations
Expectations in a relationship may not always be communicated clearly. And, naturally, disappointments arise when expectations are not met, leading to frustrations. Differences in priorities can also exacerbate feelings of neglect or misunderstanding, leading to a partner causing an argument.
Differences in Lifestyle and Habits
Another reason that women may start an argument is differing lifestyle choices or daily habits. Disagreements on socializing, cleanliness, or personal routines often become contentious. Negotiating compromises on lifestyle differences is essential but can be challenging.