People who weren’t shown love when they were children always have the same traits. Which ones are we talking about? In this article, you’ll find 19 traits that people who experienced a lack of love in their childhood always display.
Pessimism
Are you a pessimistic person? Many people struggle to be optimistic because their childhood was very negative and scary. They don’t expect life to do them any favors, and they are afraid of the future. Pessimism is often the result of a very dark past.
Violent behavior
Would other people describe you as a violent person? Statistics from the American SPCC show that there were “4.276 million child maltreatment referral reports received in 2022. Child abuse reports involved 7.5 million children. 89.0% of victims are maltreated by one or both parents.” Children who are abused often turn into violent adults.
Lack of self-esteem
Do you struggle with feelings of worthlessness? Many people have low self-esteem due to the problems they faced when they were younger. As children, they will always be looked down on, insulted, and even abused. Now, as adults, these people find it very hard to feel good about themselves.
Restless nights
Do you struggle to sleep at night? If you’re often plagued by sleepless nights and nightmares, this may be because your mind can’t rest due to memories of negative experiences that happened in the past. Even if you think you’ve overcome these negative experiences, your dreams might indicate otherwise.
Lack of trust
Do you find it difficult to trust others? If you do, this may be because you never had anyone to trust while you were growing up and therefore find it difficult to trust people now. This makes you feel very lonely, and you struggle through life instead of relying on others.
Minimal friendships
How many good friends do you have? If you don’t have many, this may be because you struggle to trust others and let them get close to you. You might feel this way because you were never able to trust others when you were younger and find it almost impossible to do so now.
Substance abuse
Why do so many children who were abused end up abusing substances in their adult years? American Addiction Centers explains that “adults who were abused as children often turn to drugs and alcohol as a coping mechanism for dealing with their childhood trauma.” However, this behavior leads to even more problems.
Estranged relationships
Do you find romantic relationships a struggle? If your parents always fought in front of you or you grew up in a divided household, you might find it difficult to trust your partner and really draw close to them. Estranged relationships might indicate a difficult past.
Lack of goals
How many goals do you have for your life? If you struggle to set goals and daydream about the things you would like to do, this might be because you had a negative upbringing and have never dared to dream that things would get better. As a result, you don’t have any goals.
Feelings of worthlessness
How good do you feel about yourself? If you find it difficult to think positively about yourself, to compliment yourself, or to love yourself, it might be because you had a hard past. Feelings of worthlessness as a child can grow stronger when we reach our adult years and be very difficult to shake.
Self-harm
Why do many people who weren’t loved as children turn to self-harm? Psych Central says, “In their childhoods, nobody cared about what they needed, felt, and wanted, such that over time they become detached from themselves… They deal with all this emotional pain by acting in a way that is not self-loving.”
Depressive thoughts
How is your mental health? It’s not uncommon for people who had a tragic childhood to experience depressive thoughts in their teenage years and during their adult lives. These feelings can be very hard to control and can completely take over a person if they don’t seek medical help.
Reluctance to help others
How willing are you to help others? Finding it very difficult to help others in their time of need could be the result of never having anyone to rely on when you were a child. Since you never had a shoulder to cry on or a helping hand, you can’t understand why others want to rely on you in tough situations.
Difficulty expressing yourself
How good are you at expressing yourself? People who find it very hard to express themselves are often this way because they were never able to express themselves freely as children. They find it hard to trust others and let them in. They never wear their hearts on their sleeves.
Anxiety issues
Do you suffer from anxiety? People who didn’t receive a lot of love from their parents while they were growing up often suffer from anxiety as adults. These feelings of anxiety can be overwhelming, and this person might need medical attention to feel good about themselves again.
Trouble parenting
How important is saying “I love you” to a child? “Love and affection are essential to a child’s healthy brain development,” says Gov.Wales. But adults who have never heard these words from their parents will struggle to show affection to their children and tell them that they love them.
Indecisiveness
How good are you at making decisions? If you find it very difficult to make decisions, this might stem from a lack of love in your home when you were growing up. You might be afraid of making a decision that will lead to the same suffering you experienced as a child.
Trouble controlling your emotions
How good are you at controlling your emotions? Children need love to flourish and grow into healthy adults. Experiencing a lack of love can make a child’s emotions very unstable. This can lead to adults who are always on an emotional roller coaster and are craving love.
Poor communication skills
Are you a good communicator? If there was a lack of love in your household when you were growing up, people might not have communicated well with one another. There may have been a lot of shouting in your childhood home. You’ve learned to communicate in the same way as they did, and this is not effective.
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