Sometimes our actions can make us appear incredibly selfish, but we may not notice this in the moment. No one wants to be selfish, and it’s important that we learn from our actions. Here are 20 signs you might be more selfish than you think.
You Always Talk About Yourself
Constantly talking about yourself can stop a person from opening up. For example, HuffPost writes, “Even when we have good or benign intentions, constantly sharing how something relates to our own experiences can still be off-putting.” You may want to think about asking other people about their day or stop interrupting them.
You Hate Making Compromises
Wanting things to always go your way can be a sign of selfishness. If you’re in a relationship, then it’s only fair that you make compromises so your partner can do things they want. You might not want to adjust your plans to accommodate someone else, as you feel you’re sacrificing your own comfort.
You Don’t Do Your Fair Share
Living with another person or people means you need to do your fair share when it comes to household chores; if you don’t, then you can come across as being selfish. When confronted with this, you might start making excuses. Try not to let other people pick up after you, and be accountable if it does happen.
You Hold Grudges
You may be more selfish than you think if you find that you can’t forgive easily. Past grievances can cause you to guilt-trip people, leading to a very negative relationship. Holding a grudge isn’t good for anyone mentally; you’re better off forgiving and letting go.
You’re Always the Victim
Jody Michael writes, “Playing the victim leads to a sense of entitlement and to narcissistic or selfish behavior.” Sometimes you may not mean to and are only trying to express how you feel, but you should also take the other person’s feelings into consideration. Instead, try to actively work on any issues.
You Rarely Apologize
Instead of admitting when you’re in the wrong and apologizing for it, you may find that you try to justify your actions. This can be incredibly frustrating for a person and if you were to flip it around, you’d also hate it. When you’ve done something wrong, try to be accountable for your actions.
You’re Quick to Blame Others
If something goes wrong, the first thing you do is blame others. This is considered a selfish action, especially if you’re equally to blame. You might want to think about self-reflection in situations, as this will help you determine your role in any issues.
You’re a Resource Hog
If you find yourself reaching for all the best resources, such as the coziest chair or best-looking cookie, then this can be a sign of selfishness. You might not be a sharer and instead want to try and get the best for yourself. This habit can make others resent you.
You Lack Empathy
This can mean you struggle to help other people when they have issues or you can’t put yourself in their shoes, making it hard for you to be emotionally there for them. Showing compassion can feel like an inconvenience and you might even feign it from time to time.
You’re Bad at Teamwork
Being put into a team may be one of your worst nightmares. You can’t control the outcome and this causes you to prefer working on your own. When you do get put in a team, selfish behaviors can involve taking all the credit or not sharing any valuable information.
You Don’t Return Favors
According to PsychCentral, one of the clearest signs of a selfish person is that they always ask for favors but don’t repay them. It causes people to feel used, creating a one-sided relationship that you may then start to lose. Try to repay favors wherever you can, even if it’s just a small gesture.
You Feel Entitled
Feeling entitled means you think you should have special treatment without having earned it. This mindset is common in selfish people, and sometimes you may even feel that a person owes you something when they really don’t. Self-reflection can help you combat treating people in this way.
You’re Inconsiderate with Shared Spaces
Regardless of whether you’re at home or in public, if you don’t clean up after yourself or you make a lot of noise, then it means you lack self-awareness and this is a sign of selfishness. It shows you’re inconsiderate of others and don’t care how your actions affect them.
You Make Everything About You
When someone comes to you and asks for help, if you’re still able to make the situation about you, then it’s a sign you’re selfish. This can include any scenario, such as conversations, events, and conflicts. It’s hard for people to feel supported when you make everything about yourself.
You Expect Constant Praise
If you find that you need others to admire you or always give you praise, then it’s a sign that you’re selfish. This is especially true if you feel undervalued when you don’t get the praise you think you deserve. Constantly needing this can be draining for those you have close relationships with.
You Interrupt Conversations
Psychology Today writes, “Interrupting implies that you deem your words more worthy than the remainder of what the other person has to say.” It can show you have egotistical tendencies, as what you have to say is more important. This behavior can stop people from opening up to you when you stop them in the moment.
You’re Rude to Service Workers
How you treat service workers says a lot about your character. If you’re rude to them for no apparent reason, then you look selfish, as you think you have more superiority than them. While many people won’t tell you that you were rude, it still reflects badly on your personality.
You Avoid Responsibility
Avoiding responsibilities isn’t just detrimental for you but also for those around you. Putting off chores, whether they’re at home or work, shows people that you only care about yourself. People will think you prefer your own leisure time to doing things that actually need to be done.
You Don’t Listen
Listening is an important skill to have in all aspects of life. It means tasks can be completed properly and your relationships become stronger. Being able to listen actively means that you wait for a person to stop speaking before you address what they’ve said. Not being present in conversations shows that you’re only thinking about yourself.
You Rarely Make Sacrifices
To form genuine relationships with people, you sometimes need to make sacrifices. For example, Wonderoak writes that this may mean meeting up when you don’t want to or helping them do something that you don’t want to. If you find yourself lacking in willingness to help, then it can show you’re selfish.
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