While there are plenty of ways to be more likable and socially successful, some traits do the opposite and make other people instantly feel negative about you. If you want to make friends easily and build authentic connections with people, try avoiding these 18 social faux pas—each behavior is guaranteed to have the average person avoiding you forever!
Monopolize Conversations
Talking about yourself, your achievements, opinions, and experiences is all well and good, but conversations are a two-way street. No one enjoys being ‘talked at’ for extended periods, so ensure you ask questions, give them a chance to speak, and actively listen when they do. A discussion is reciprocal, so show genuine interest and don’t use it as an opportunity for rants or monologues.
Complaining
LinkedIn writes, “On a personal level, complaining too much is bad because it reinforces negative thoughts and makes people dread being around you.” Even if you have genuine grievances, be aware that constant negativity and fault-finding are off-putting and will make others avoid you. Try to balance your contributions with some positive comments so as to be less emotionally draining.
Bragging
Self-confidence is a great asset, but excessive boasting will make you seem obnoxious and self-centered, especially if you continually assert why you’re better or more successful than the other person. Constant name-dropping, focusing on your successes, and putting others down to inflate your own ego are guaranteed turn-offs. People appreciate a little humility, so tone it down.
Being Overly Needy
Everyone needs attention and connection, but demanding too much or smothering someone with over-attachment can make you seem ‘clingy.’ Life Hacker warns that needy people make others feel uncomfortable, trapped, and annoyed. Don’t seek validation, call excessively, expect to be included, or be possessive. People will like you more if you chill out and give them space.
Arrogance
No one likes a cocky know-it-all, so avoid using a condescending tone or asserting your superiority over others. Treating others as ‘beneath’ you, offering patronizing or unsolicited advice, interrupting or speaking over people will quickly make you unappealing to even the most tolerant of individuals. Try to acknowledge different perspectives and aim to be humble and respectful.
Insensitivity
Recognizing and understanding the feelings of others is crucial for building strong relationships. PsychoLogs asserts that insensitivity is often a result of low empathy, anger, stress, frustration, low self-esteem, or loneliness and that these individuals come across as cold, indifferent, and uncompassionate. Aim to show interest and offer support when others are upset or facing challenges.
Rudeness
There is no excuse for forgetting basic human decency and good manners, so never use offensive language, insult people, or disregard the rules of social etiquette by doing things like interrupting, dismissing, or ignoring them. Even patient, tolerant people get exasperated and offended by such behavior, so be considerate, polite, and pleasant when socializing.
Dishonesty
It may be an oft-repeated trope, but trust really is the backbone of any solid relationship. People won’t want to spend time with you if you lie, cheat, or constantly break promises. Such behaviors make others wary and destroy their confidence in what you have to say. Instead, tell the truth as gently as possible and only make promises you are capable and committed to keeping.
Disrespecting Boundaries
According to Harley Therapy, everyone should have and maintain personal boundaries for their own physical comfort and mental health. Suppose you fail to recognize or respect other people’s personal limits. In that case, they will see you as inconsiderate, selfish, and socially awkward. Aim to respect the personal space, tactile preferences, and personality traits of others without judgment.
Flakiness
Anyone with a flaky, unreliable friend will tell you how disheartening and frustrating this can be. To avoid negative opinions, be dependable and trustworthy. Don’t make promises to help or attend if you cannot commit, and never cancel plans for inadequate reasons or because you had a better offer. Otherwise, you’ll get a reputation for flakiness, and people will stop asking you to join them.
Jealousy
People like those who can celebrate their achievements without making it all about them or drawing selfish comparisons. While feelings of envy can be natural, try not to show them and focus on being supportive and genuinely excited rather than creating negativity or a sense of competition. Jealousy will only make you look weak and insecure to others.
Intolerance
Everyone is an individual with their own lifestyle and beliefs, so don’t discriminate against or insult people who aren’t like you, whether in terms of origin, appearance, or way of life. Also, listen carefully, consider different viewpoints, and avoid shutting people down if you don’t share their perspectives. Otherwise, you’ll appear close-minded, intolerant, and dismissive.
Be Judgmental
Constantly judging others, criticizing their choices, and making them feel inferior through your words or actions will make you seem self-righteous and unpleasant. If someone wants your honest opinion, they’ll ask for it, and most people won’t like listening to you being negative about them or others, including insulting their clothes, music tastes, lifestyle, or career choices.
Gossiping
In general, most people don’t like gossip. Even if you’re not gossiping about them, spreading rumors or talking about the private lives of others makes you seem malicious, untrustworthy, and invasive. Gossiping makes others question your integrity and character, and you’ll attract more friends (and more decent types of people) by being dignified, honorable, and loyal instead.
Seeking Attention
Outgoing people are great, but obnoxious people take being an extrovert to a whole new level. There’s a clear difference between healthy self-expression and rudely seeking attention by being loud, controlling, or dominating conversations. Try not to take over or make everything about you while in social situations, or others may end up avoiding you.
Poor Personal Hygiene
Even the sweetest, most fun person will be socially excluded if they smell or look unclean on a regular basis. We’re not saying you need to be squeaky clean and perfectly dressed every time you interact with others, but taking time to shower, use deodorant, wash and brush your hair, and wear clean clothes is very important, or else you might become off-putting to others.
Be Argumentative
Constantly picking fights, arguing over every point, and being deliberately provocative is tiresome and unhealthy, and a guaranteed way to alienate people. Healthy debate is one thing, but being argumentative for the sake of it creates unnecessary tension. It can make others avoid you simply because they can’t face the stress of constant disagreement.
Chronic Negativity
Spending time with someone who is constantly gloomy and pessimistic can be extremely draining and depressing. While you might not intend to drag others down, try to be aware of how your negativity impacts others and avoid being excessively critical or moody. If you’re struggling with depression, a medical health professional is the best person to talk to about your feelings.
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