Just because someone or some people are often mean to you doesn’t mean it’s your fault. People are rude for a variety of reasons that may not be immediately obvious. Let’s take a look at 17 reasons why people may be mean to you.
Insecurity and Low Self-Esteem
Many people who act mean are actually just trying to hide their own insecurities. BetterHelp talks about how insecurity can cause people to be mean by accident, but it doesn’t always have to be an accident. People can be mean as a result of low self-esteem in many ways.
Jealousy and Envy
It can be incredibly hard to spot when people are jealous of you as they do everything in their power to cover it up, including acting in a mean way. They may grow resentful of you if they want what you have in your life.
Reaction to Perceived Threats
People can be quick to act defensively in life if they feel it is serving them in an unfair way. This can, in turn, become quite hostile behavior which will naturally look mean to anyone on the receiving end of it. At this point, it’s best to just step back.
Lack of Empathy or Awareness
There might not be any more of a reason for someone being mean than just plain ignorance. If these people are unable to be empathetic or to show awareness of anybody else’s situations, their default behavior may just mean. It’s careless and unfair, but it does happen…
Past Experiences and Learned Behavior
People’s childhoods often cause them to be mean in later life, as detailed by Verywell Mind. If they grew up in a mean family then it’s not really much of a wonder why they turned into mean people themselves. Historical interactions always shape how people behave and this is a key example.
Desire for Control or Power
There are a surprising number of people out there who use mean tactics to attempt to dominate or manipulate other people. This desperate attempt for power could be the sole reason they’re being mean to you, so it’s likely to be nothing personal if that’s the case!
Going Through a Rough Patch
You never know what’s going on with someone internally. Sure, being mean is never excusable, but it may be a little easier to forgive them if you consider that they may only be acting that way because they have bad things going on in their personal lives.
Emotional Immaturity
Perhaps someone is being mean to you just because of the fact that they’re emotionally immature. Some people take a lot longer than others to fully ‘grow up’, and in fact, some never actually get to that point. At the end of the day, that’s on them.
Projection of Negative Feelings
Projection is a key reason for people to behave in a mean or unfair way towards others, according to Psychology Today. They may feel like things are going wrong in their own life and transfer those feelings onto others in a mean way. Plus, they may actually falsely blame others as a means to escape.
Miscommunication or Misunderstanding
It may not have been your fault, so to speak, but perhaps you’ve accidentally done or said something to annoy somebody, and that’s just a big misunderstanding. If that’s the case, it might be a good idea to try to get to the bottom of it so that you can clear the air.
They Are Testing Boundaries
Some people just like to try to see how far they can push someone to find out how much they can get away with. It’s not a very nice way to live your life but it does happen quite a lot. These people are best avoided if you ask us.
Fear of Vulnerability
It could be the case that someone is being mean to you as a shield to protect themselves from their own vulnerability. They might not want to get too close to others, either consciously or subconsciously, and being mean is their way of dealing with that.
Cultural or Social Influences
There are many people out there that simply grow up to a background that condones or even encourages harsh behavior. The social group that they spent a lot of time with in their younger years may have turned them into a mean person, which is pretty sad.
Seeking Attention
People can be narcissistic when seeking attention and this often results in them being mean. Healthline lists various factors for this, including an inflated feeling of self-importance, being preoccupied with fantasies of power and general arrogance. All of these things can cause mean behavior.
They Don’t Realize They’re Being Mean
Maybe the person who’s being mean actually just has no idea that they actually are being mean. It could just be that their personality comes across in a way that feels mean when they have no intention of being that way, and they could be very embarrassed if they knew that was the case.
Response to Authority or Resistance
Another reason that people decide to act mean is that they’re reacting against some kind of control or dominance in their lives. The threat that they’re challenging might not be you, but it could be something that’s on their mind, causing them to act mean.
They Are Mimicking Others
Growing up in a social group that condones being mean is one thing, but others can actually be directly influenced by a specific person that turns them into someone mean. There might be a person in your friendship group that acts mean, and the person being mean to you idolizes them.
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