Dealing with a toxic person can erode your self-esteem, deplete your confidence, make you anxious, and push you into a state of depression. So that you never have to deal with these, we’ve compiled 18 things a toxic person does to watch out for.
Gaslighting
Verywell Mind defines gaslighting as a form of “emotional abuse” where a person makes you question your reality. A toxic person will tell you that you’re overreacting to a “joke” from them, among many other things that make you feel less secure about your memories or judgement.
Loves to Disrespect Boundaries
Boundaries are essential to maintaining a healthy relationship, as they help us dictate what we like and dislike—expecting everyone to keep to them. Toxic people will go beyond these boundaries over and over again. Most of the time, they disregard your limits on purpose.
Prefers to Stonewall You
Instead of addressing conflicts through open, healthy conversations, a toxic person will stonewall you, cutting off all communication. It’s a defense mechanism everyone’s guilty of, but the Cleveland Clinic calls it toxic emotional abuse if it’s habitual for someone.
They’re Always Manipulative
Toxic people also use deceptive words or actions to avoid getting caught in a bad situation or to control you into doing something they want. If you’re dealing with one, you’ll notice that this person exploits your vulnerabilities or emotions to gain an upper hand over you.
A Toxic Person Constantly Criticizes Others
Whether it’s the way you talk, how you look, or where you place things in the house, there’s always something to complain about. A toxic person will criticize you for the most minor flaws or details. And criticism will often come with a belittling tone, affecting your self-esteem.
Has a Victim Mentality
Now, some toxic people will go the extra length of playing victim in a bad situation, even when there’s clear evidence that nothing wrong was done to them. Its an energy-draining trait that stems from a lack of accountability, and one that Psyche Central says manifests in difficulty accepting constructive criticism.
Displays Unhealthy Jealousy
A toxic person is never content with what he or she has and is always envious of the achievements of others. Of course, we all have the things we love that others have. But for many people, it often ends with desire. With a toxic person, there’s an unhealthy, passive-aggressive attitude that involves down-talking or even sabotaging others’ success.
Never Supportive
Sometimes, all you need to see isn’t envy but just a lack of support or enthusiasm for your achievements. You put yourself in a toxic scenario when you deal with someone who dismisses you anytime you talk about your goals, interests, or other things that make you happy.
Is Always Dishonesty
If it gets them out of trouble, toxic people will never think twice before lying. These people make false statements or slightly alter truths through exaggerations and omissions, typically as a way to manipulate or deceive you. It’s unhealthy when you notice someone does this frequently, and this means he or she can’t be trusted.
The Relationship Feels One-Sided
Sometimes, you may notice that every interaction with this person feels one-sided—where you’re the only one putting in efforts, both emotionally and financially, into the relationship. Business Insider explains how being the only one making sacrifices and being available in a relationship can be toxic in the long run.
Lacks Empathy
Empathy is essential to any healthy relationship—helping both parties understand their pain points and adjust their attitudes or actions accordingly. A toxic person, however, lacks this trait. If you’re dealing with one, you notice that this person always does things without thinking of how they’ll hurt you and then invalidates your emotions when you complain.
Avoids Accountability
It’s difficult to deal with someone who never takes full accountability for what they do or the gravity of their actions. And this is what you’ll experience with a toxic person. These people always shift blame to others, or you’ll often hear them make excuses for the terrible things they do.
Never Apologizes
Even when a toxic person acknowledges that he or she played a part in putting you in a bad situation, there’s never an apology from them. This is typically because they have too much of a sense of self-importance that overrides their need to apologize, deeming apologies a dent in their self-image.
Has Frequent Mood Swings
Emotional instability is another popular trait associated with toxic people. They don’t know how to manage emotions and get unnecessarily irritable from minor inconveniences or even for nothing at all. In the worst-case scenario, some even fake their moodiness as a way to manipulate you.
Double Standards
It’s a toxic trait when someone has contrasting judgments when faced with similar scenarios, typically fuelled by biases. You may notice that there are some things this person does that he or she complains about when you do them—a form of imbalance that hinders peaceful coexistence in a relationship.
Engages in Unhealthy Competition
You’re also dealing with a toxic person if he or she always wants to outdo you on everything, especially when it comes to your shortcomings. This person creates tension in the relationship by counting scores and will prioritize getting the better of you over openly talking problems out.
Has Contagious Pessimism
A negative outlook on life is linked to severe physical and mental health issues. And someone is toxic when he or she extends their pessimism to you as well. Constant negativity in how this person talks or handles situations can push you to make bad decisions or affect your overall enjoyment of life.
Always Wants to Be Right
Toxic people also think that they are always right and that their opinions or judgments are superior to those of others. They dismiss or invalidate perspectives that are different from their own, even when there’s glaring evidence that these perspectives are better. This is one trait that hinders the growth of a relationship.
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