Personality disorders are underdiagnosed because they’re often misconceived as people ‘being difficult.’ Society also tends to focus more on the symptoms of anxiety and depression that accompany personality disorders, neglecting the other signs. To promote understanding, here are 18 signs someone isn’t being difficult but has a personality disorder.
Their Reactions Are Disproportionate
When someone overreacts to something small, it’s natural to want to roll your eyes and dismiss them. However, this is a common sign of a personality disorder. Histrionic personality disorder is characterized by unstable emotions and exaggerated reactions. If you notice a pattern of disproportionate reactions, it may well be something more.
They Excessively Seek Approval
People who excessively seek approval are considered difficult to manage because they are obsessed with validation from others. However, this is another subtle sign somebody has a personality disorder. Such disorders distort their self-image and make them sensitive to criticism, so they need constant approval to counterbalance those negative emotions.
Their Self-Esteem is Shattered
Similarly, people who struggle with their self-esteem are often dismissed as attention-seeking, but their quest for acceptance indicates an insidious struggle. For example, Cleveland Clinic defines avoidant personality disorder as consisting of poor self-esteem and chronic feelings of inadequacy, so think twice before dismissing an apparent attention-seeker.
They’re Reckless
Not all signs of a personality disorder are subtle. Signs of borderline personality disorder are more overt, such as increased recklessness, leading people to take dangerous risks. It’s easy to disapprove of reckless behavior and assume the person is trying to be difficult, but it’s a worrying symptom of personality disorder.
They Get Angry Out of Nowhere
When someone has a personality disorder, they struggle to regulate their emotions, which can lead to random outbursts of anger with no apparent build-up. Having somebody rage at you is unsettling, but don’t just dismiss the incident as difficult behavior, as they could be suffering from borderline personality disorder.
They Struggle to Maintain Relationships
It’s a misconception that people with personality disorders can’t make an effort to have healthy relationships, but they may have a history of fractured relationships. Emotional instability and a black-and-white way of thinking make it difficult to maintain a connection, and partners often leave because they feel neglected.
They Buckle Under Stress
Stress brings out the worst in everyone, but it can make the symptoms of a personality disorder almost unbearable. Research by Harvard Health Publishing warns that those with borderline personality disorder may break with stress and develop psychotic-like symptoms. This can be particularly dangerous if their stressed behavior is disregarded as ‘being difficult.’
Their Behavior Isn’t New
It’s cause for concern when signs of a personality disorder first crop up, but many people dismiss lengthy patterns of worrying behavior. If someone’s troubled behavior has been going on for a while, they almost certainly need help. Often, people get a reputation for being ‘difficult,’ and their disorders are never diagnosed or treated.
They’re Inconsistent
Inconsistent people are frustrating to deal with, but no one chooses to behave this way. If someone has a personality disorder, they might seem different every day. They struggle with boundaries, their emotions rise and fall, and they have no stable sense of identity. No matter how inconsistent they are, don’t ignore it.
They Have Regular Mood Swings
Regular mood swings are a classic sign of personality disorder, yet they’re commonly dismissed as difficult behavior or ‘acting out.’ Mood swings are caused by internal feelings of uncertainty and low self-worth, leading to them lashing out or simply withdrawing. When this becomes a pattern, it’s time to have a serious conversation.
They Struggle to Empathise With Others
A lack of empathy is another insidious symptom of personality disorder, and it massively impacts how the affected person interacts with the world. According to HelpGuide, narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by a lack of empathy, arrogant thinking, and self-centredness. Narcissists are resistant to change, but it’s still important to know the signs.
They’re Awkward in Public
Awkwardness alone isn’t always indicative of a personality disorder, but if you’ve noticed other overt signs, pay attention to the person’s public behavior, too. People with avoidant personality disorder often struggle with social interactions due to their feelings of inadequacy, which can make them seem awkward, difficult, or standoffish.
They’re Solitary
Another sign of avoidant personality disorder is becoming detached from society. When somebody’s self-esteem is so low that they live a completely solitary life, they may mistakenly be diagnosed with depression. While those depressive feelings must be treated, it’s important to delve further into the entirety of the personality disorder.
Their Work Performance is Suffering
When you struggle to regulate your mood and focus your mind, your work suffers. This is why people with personality disorders often get reputations for being difficult in the workplace. Once someone’s work performance has started to suffer due to a personality disorder, the only way it will improve is to seek help.
They Distrust People
A person who constantly pushes people away because they don’t trust them may have paranoid personality disorder, which should not be ignored. Extreme paranoia stems from unfounded beliefs that everybody else is trying to hurt them. WebMD observes that people with PPD often hold grudges and read hidden meanings into everything.
They’re Manipulative
Difficult people deliberately cause problems by being loudly passive-aggressive to provoke a reaction, but people with personality disorders are more subtle. When somebody constantly manipulates you, you question your entire relationship. You might even feel dependent on the person who has a personality disorder, and then you’ll struggle to help them.
They’re Overly Dramatic
We all roll our eyes at overly dramatic people, but be careful, as they could have a personality disorder. Histrionic personality disorder manifests itself as a desperate bid for attention, with the affected person subconsciously acting inappropriately to get attention. They may seem exhausting, but their behavior could have a deeper meaning.
They Say Worrying Things
Finally, the most terrifying sign of a personality disorder is when someone says worrying things that make you fear for their safety. We should never dismiss comments relating to self-harm as somebody being ‘dramatic’; they’re a cry for help. Our duty as a society is to recognize the signs before it comes to this.
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