Bullying is, unfortunately, a harsh part of childhood for many, and such experiences can manifest into negative or sometimes even positive behaviors as an adult. Today, we’re taking a look at 17 adult traits that show that someone was, sadly, a victim of childhood bullying.
Trust Issues
Bullying is a horrible experience that can scare or even traumatize its victims, so much so that they become very wary of who they let into their social circle. They also find it difficult to be vulnerable around people, as they may remain suspicious of the intentions of new people in their lives.
Poor Self-Esteem
Another major personality defect that is rooted in bullying is low self-esteem, according to Cambridge University. Victims of bullying don’t have a great sense of self-worth and may feel they don’t deserve anything good, even as adults. This is a thought their bullies have instilled in them through constant verbal and emotional abuse.
Preferring Isolation
Victims of childhood bullying often isolate themselves from others. They know that if they are alone, no one else can hurt them, hence choosing to live this way. This isolation can also manifest as emotional withdrawal, choosing to never communicate their feelings with others.
Avoiding Conflict
Bullying victims also do whatever they can to avoid conflict. They ensure they don’t offend others because it may become a justification for ill-treatment. Even in adulthood, victims of bullying avoid conflict because they always see themselves as the weaker party during conflicts.
Hating Attention
Victims of bullying, especially in cases of peer victimization (bullying by a group), also associate attention with bad experiences. When everyone talks about them, they’re used to it being negative. Therefore, even as adults, they try to stay out of others’ eyes and minds as much as possible.
Having a Biased Perception
As a trauma response to protect themselves from similar interpersonal relationships, victims of bullying try to avoid people who look or behave like their bullies did. Even when they give these people the benefit of the doubt, they judge them more harshly for the negative behaviors they exhibit.
Anxiety
Many victims of bullying develop intense anxiety disorders. Verywell Mind shares that the most common forms of disorders among them are post-traumatic stress disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, panic attacks, and social anxiety disorder. Without the right social care, this easily follows victims into adulthood.
Hypervigilance
In some cases, adults who were bullied may constantly assess threats of bad things happening, a direct result of always watching their backs around the bully. They’re more aware than everyone else of changes in the environment, and they read into these changes in an exaggerated manner.
Courage
Bullying doesn’t always result in bad traits for everyone. Some people show strength in the face of oppression, especially if they get to speak out against their bullies. They never let maltreatment slide when someone in a position of authority, such as a boss, attempts to put them down.
Assertiveness
Sometimes, finding your voice against a bully makes it easier for you to stand your ground against opposition. You protect your boundaries fiercely and hold your opinions firmly, regardless of how much stronger your adversaries may be. This is a way for you to make sure your history of weakness doesn’t repeat itself.
Resilience
Because adults who were bullied as kids had to pick themselves up multiple times, they’ve become hardened against maltreatment. As adults, they go about their day like nothing bad ever happens to them, and they don’t let difficult situations in their lives affect their willingness to thrive.
Empathy
Victims of bullying have gone through intense anxiety and pain before, and thanks to this, they understand how others feel in similar situations. They carefully avoid hurting others, and they feel uncomfortable when someone is going through abuse, as if it’s them being maltreated.
Disposition to Substance Abuse
Unfortunately, a study published by the National Library of Medicine reveals that individuals involved in bullying, whether as perpetrators or victims, are at greater risk of drug use. This is to numb feelings of anxiety and trauma, a behavior that sadly will often follow them into adulthood.
Anger
Since they had to deal with experiences they resent every day as children, victims of bullying often develop increased irritability as adults. They’re annoyed easily because they’re more sensitive to threatening behavior, and they don’t mind getting aggressive to fight back any slight intimidation directed toward them or others.
Perfectionism
For some people, the only way they didn’t attract the attention of their bullies was by avoiding mistakes. A paper by Jessie Miller and Tracy Vaillancourt, published by the NLM, shares that this leads to perfectionism, a trait particularly linked to indirect peer victimization, like group bullying through rumors or the internet.
Poor Handling of Criticism
Victims of bullying see every form of disapproval of their actions, words, or work as unfair. Even constructive criticism given in good faith seems like an attack on them, and they usually respond in an extremely hostile manner. This makes it hard to correct them without conflict.
Supporting the Weak
Finally, victims of bullying may support a team specifically because it’s weaker than other teams. They always want the underdogs to come out on top because they know how it feels to be easily trampled on. This is a sign that they’ve had to sympathize with others struggling against a common, oppressive intimidator.
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