How we present ourselves is critical because it shapes other people’s perceptions of us. People who constantly behave badly are hard to respect, and their personal relationships will suffer. To make sure you’re not that person, here are 20 behaviors to change if you want people to respect you.
Not Saying ‘Please’ or ‘Thank You’
There’s a reason why ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ are called the magic words: they instantly make people respect you more. The fact that it costs nothing to be polite will make you seem very rude if you don’t use these words, and people will lose respect for you instantly.
Breaking Your Promises
All relationships are based on trust, so you will lose others’ respect if you prove yourself untrustworthy. Psychotherapist Ashley Thorn emphasizes that breaking both big and small promises erodes trust, and most people won’t put up with it. If you want to preserve your relationships, keep your promises.
Telling Small Lies
We all tell the odd white lie, but if you’re consistently telling small lies, people will start doubting everything you say. Being truthful demonstrates respect for the person, and this respect will become mutual. If someone can’t trust that you aren’t lying when you speak, they won’t respect anything you say.
Gossiping About Others
Gossip is everywhere in both work and social circles, but talking about people behind their backs proves you don’t respect them. If you get a reputation for gossiping, people won’t trust that you won’t publicize things they tell you in confidence, and they’ll lose respect for you as a colleague or friend.
Being Rude to Servers
Society considers rudeness to servers a cardinal sin. Dr Daniel Redhead analyzes that there’s a social hierarchy in dining out, with the server taking the subservient role, making some customers feel entitled to act rudely. If people see you doing this, they’ll lose all respect for you.
Interrupting People
Everyone does this accidentally, but if you constantly interrupt people, they’ll be less likely to talk to you. Actively listening to what someone is saying and letting them finish is a huge part of conversation etiquette, so if you keep interrupting people, you’ll break that bond of mutual respect.
Exhibiting Bad Manners
Although it might be more common to display bad manners nowadays, people will still lose respect for you if you don’t behave well in public. Actions like chewing with your mouth open, burping in restaurants, swearing loudly, and texting while people talk to you will put them off spending time with you.
Never Apologizing
Being wrong is disappointing and often embarrassing, but when you are, it’s important to be the bigger person and apologize. This small act of humility will cause people to respect you massively, whereas somebody who can’t apologize is not a person that others actively choose to be around.
Dominating Conversations
A successful conversation relies on consistent two-way communication. If you often find yourself dominating conversations by speaking over others, chances are they’re losing respect for you. If you want people to enjoy your company, try to catch yourself doing this and rectify your behavior.
Bragging
It’s good to be proud of your accomplishments, but make sure it never leads to boasting. Boasting will make others feel bad and also get you a reputation for being egotistical. According to The New York Times, sharing your successes is okay as long as you are truthful and humble.
Not Taking Accountability For Your Actions
As adults, we are all responsible for how we act, and if we do something that upsets another person, we must hold ourselves accountable. If your actions affected someone else, take accountability, even if you didn’t mean to cause that reaction. This will build bridges and prompt them to gain respect for you.
Talking Down to People
Nobody likes to be talked down to, but sometimes we do it to others without noticing. Condescending behavior is disrespectful because people will assume you think you’re better than them, so they won’t respect you in return. Even things like your tone and mannerisms while speaking can make you seem condescending.
Always Being Late
Perpetual lateness shows a huge disrespect for other people’s time. If you make plans and don’t show up because of poor time management, the other person will think you don’t prioritize them. It also makes you look unreliable, and people will lose respect for you in return.
Never Helping Others
Whether in work or your personal life, it’s always kind to help others. Being generous with your time shows that you’re thoughtful and gives people more reason to respect you, whereas someone who never helps anyone will come off as cold and unapproachable.
Constantly Complaining
Letting out some negativity is good for your mental health, but if you’re constantly complaining to your friends, it will start to frustrate them. Psychologist Guy Winch observes that most people communicate with an 80% positive to 20% negative ratio, so use this as a guideline to avoid being a chronic complainer!
Displaying Bad Body Language
Bad body language is one of the main non-verbal behaviors that can make people lose respect for you. Examples include avoiding eye contact, slouching, and invading people’s space. Some people struggle with social cues, but if you understand them and still ignore them, you’re just being rude.
Never Committing
Flaky friends are never fully respected by the group, and for good reason. People who never commit hold others back from making plans, causing their friends to start drifting away from them. Mutual respect for each other’s company is essential in any friendship, so don’t be that person!
Being Too Secretive
Nobody is entitled to know everything about you, and you don’t need to share personal details that you’d rather keep private. However, being too secretive can make you seem aloof and unsociable. People won’t know enough about you to build respect for you, and you’ll become an outsider in social situations.
Having Bad Hygiene
Just like bad body language, bad hygiene is another nonverbal behavior that can cause people to regard you negatively. It’s impossible not to sweat or have body odor sometimes, but if you consistently smell unclean, people will lose respect for you and try to physically distance themselves.
Being Generally Difficult
Everyone has off days, but if you’re seen as a generally ‘difficult’ person, you’re probably starting to exhaust other people. BetterUp identifies how much people struggle to maintain relationships with ‘difficult’ people, so if you find yourself taking your negative feelings out on friends, chances are, they’re losing respect for you.
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