The dating world can be notoriously difficult to navigate. We’re spoiled for choice when it comes to prospective partners, and with so much competition, you won’t always win. So, consider these 19 things you shouldn’t do when someone shows no interest in you.
Ignore it
If someone shows a lack of interest, don’t ignore it. When you really like someone, it can be easy to turn a blind eye and hope for the best. However, a lack of interest speaks volumes, and you will only be wasting your time if you try to continue when it just isn’t there.
Take it personally
We can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, so try not to take it personally if someone isn’t interested in you. There may be an initial spark, but that might fade the more you get to know each other. You don’t like everyone, so you can’t expect everyone to like you in return.
Constantly message them
It shouldn’t come as a surprise that Verywell Mind says that constant texting is a sign that you’re clingy. If they’re not into you, no amount of messaging is going to sway them towards you. In fact, constantly messaging them will do the exact opposite and push them away.
Persist
If it’s clear that someone isn’t interested in you, just leave it there; don’t persist. You may want to try and maintain some sort of progression, but you can’t force someone to be into you. If you cut it off as early as possible, you will save yourself from heartbreak.
Beg for attention
Anyone who is genuinely interested in you will bathe you with attention, so you should never feel like you need to beg for it. If it feels like you need to draw their attention, they’re not the one for you. Begging for their attention can come across as desperate, so let it go.
Get aggressive or defensive
Sometimes, it can be difficult not to take offense when someone isn’t interested in you, and it is easy for your auto-pilot to get defensive. You don’t need to defend who you are, it’s just a personality clash, so don’t get aggressive–it’s just not worth your energy.
Insult them
It may feel harsh if someone’s just not that into you, but they can’t help it. Just because your ego is bruised doesn’t mean that you need to retaliate. Don’t lower yourself and insult them; you simply don’t vibe, and this person is not your one. Leave it on good terms.
Bad mouth them
If someone is simply not interested in you, there is no need to badmouth them. Hopefully, they will be open and honest about their feelings without leading you on, and if this is the case, you should respect them for that. You can expect respect, but you can’t expect everyone to be into you.
Ghost them
Ghosting is sadly part of the modern dating world, but don’t engage in it yourself. Just because someone isn’t interested in you doesn’t mean you should ghost them. Forbes says that ghosting impacts our self-esteem, so do the respectful thing and reply.
Stalk them on social media
Social media stalking never brings good results. Stalking someone who shows no interest in you is a fast track to getting hurt (or arrested). There will quickly come a time when you see something that knocks on your ego, and the only person who will come out negatively is you.
Try to make them jealous
When someone isn’t interested in you, it’s a common self-esteem boost to try and show them what they’re missing. However, if they’re just not into you, no amount of trying to make them jealous will actually succeed. Instead, you’ll just look a little sad and desperate.
Play games
The dating world is full of games, and it is hard to know whether people’s intentions are genuine. You should never play games and mess with people’s feelings, even if that person isn’t showing interest in you. Be true to yourself and respectful of the other person.
Feel like you need to change
It can be hard to feel like it’s not something about you, but don’t try to change when someone shows no interest. Dating is not a one-size-fits-all thing, and not everyone you’re into will reciprocate those feelings. This doesn’t mean you need to change, it just means you haven’t found your person.
Compromise on your boundaries
Never ever compromise on your boundaries, especially to get someone to like you. When we lower our boundaries to suit other people, we do ourselves a disservice. People will respect you more when you honor your own boundaries.
Waste time on them
If someone is not showing interest in you, just end the conversation there; don’t waste any more time on them. Your time and energy are precious, so you shouldn’t exhaust them in a situation that isn’t right. Focus your attention elsewhere, on yourself, your interests, or even on other potential dates.
Be intimate
Many people think that being intimate with someone will encourage them to like you, but it won’t. Instead, you will feel low and disrespected if someone just uses you for sex. According to the University of Oxford, men and women are programmed differently when it comes to sex.
Immediately move on unless you’re ready
Rebounds are rarely successful, so if you are feeling hurt by someone who isn’t interested in you, allow yourself some time to heal. When you’re hurt, it is hard to make healthy dating decisions, so unless you really feel ready to move on and continue dating, take a little break.
Project past rejection onto new partners
Just because one person wasn’t into you doesn’t mean that no one will be, so don’t project this dating experience onto other potential partners. Marriage.com states that emotional baggage can hurt future relationships, so try to separate the new from the old.
Retreat from dating
Finally, the last thing you should do when someone shows no interest in you is retreat from dating. They weren’t your person, but someone else out there will be, so don’t take one person’s lack of interest as a reason to leave the dating world. If you genuinely want to find a partner, continue the journey.