Entering a new relationship can be both exciting and daunting. To ensure you’re making the right decision, it’s important to ask the right questions. In this article, we’ll share 17 questions you should always ask a potential partner to understand your compatibility before you dive into a relationship.
Have You Ever Been Involved With a Married Person?
Before entering a relationship, it’s smart to explore the potential partner’s past involvement in complex relationships. You’ll want to understand their views on commitment and honesty and, if necessary, discuss how they dealt with discovering a partner’s marital status.
What Is Your Parents’ Relationship Like?
It’s a good idea to investigate how the person you’re considering dating perceives their parents’ relationship. This can help you understand how their family dynamics influence their views on relationships. You can also discuss any positive or negative impressions they have.
How Important Is Sharing Religious Faith?
According to BYU, “Research shows that when couples share religious involvement, they tend to adjust better in marriage in many ways.” With this in mind, you may want to ask this question to your potential partner to discuss compatibility in terms of faith and spirituality. This will help you consider whether differing beliefs are a deal-breaker.
Do You Want Children?
If you’re hoping for a serious, long-term relationship, this question is a must. It’s important to discuss plans and timelines regarding starting a family. You need to understand each other’s stance on parenting and children. Explore how your partner’s views align with your life goals and aspirations.
What Do You Want Out of Life?
This may be a pretty big question to ask, but it’s a good idea to discuss each other’s long-term life objectives and dreams. Explore whether your visions for the future complement each other and talk about the steps you’re both willing to take to achieve these goals.
How Do You Handle Solo vs. Shared Hobbies?
Another question to consider asking someone before starting a relationship is about their preferences in individual vs. joint hobbies. You’ll want someone who understands the balance of independence and togetherness in leisure activities. You can then explore shared hobbies and their potential to strengthen the relationship.
What Are Your Dating Red Flags?
As shared by VeryWell Mind, “In relationships, red flags are signs that the person probably can’t have a healthy relationship and proceeding down the road together would be emotionally dangerous.” You’ll want to get an idea of your partner’s personal red flags in relationships, discuss past experiences that inform these red flags, and understand what behaviors or traits are unacceptable.
What Are Our Shared Goals and Aspirations?
Aligning your life goals and aspirations is fundamental for a lasting relationship. Discuss whether your ambitions, like travel, career paths, or settling down, are in sync. Mismatched aspirations, such as one desiring immediate family life and the other prioritizing career or adventure, can lead to conflicts.
What’s Your Travel Style?
In most relationships, couples take vacations. So, it’s important to talk about your individual travel preferences and dream destinations. You should also discuss travel budgets, activities, and experiences. Understand how each other’s travel style fits into the relationship.
How Do You Approach Physical Intimacy?
As said by Healthline, “Most of us use sexual compatibility as a guiding force in gauging how ‘right’ a relationship (or potential relationship) is—regarding sexual incompatibility as the ultimate deal breaker.” It’s best to discuss comfort levels and boundaries in physical intimacy and talk about sexual health and safe practices.
What Makes You Emotional?
Understanding what makes your partner emotional can deepen your relationship. Discuss experiences or topics that trigger strong emotions. This knowledge helps you navigate conversations with sensitivity and support. It also gives insight into your partner’s emotional depth and what aspects of life or experiences they hold dear.
How Often Do You Cook?
It’s also a good idea for the two of you to talk about your dietary habits and cooking preferences before entering a relationship. Discuss how food and nutrition fit into your lifestyles and understand each other’s approach to eating and health.
What’s an Important Bucket List Activity for You?
Sharing bucket list dreams can reveal each of your deep personal values and aspirations. It’s an opportunity to understand what excites and motivates your partner. Discussing these goals can also inspire ways to support each other in achieving them, further bonding you as a couple.
What’s Your Love Language?
According to MindBodyGreen, the five love languages are “words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.” Discuss how you express and prefer to receive love, and explore how well your love languages align. You should also talk about adapting to each other’s emotional needs.
What Are Your Future Plans?
Of course, if your relationship is to go anywhere, then you need to be in agreement about the future. So, share your visions for the future, including your careers and personal lives. Discuss how these plans intersect with a potential relationship and evaluate compatibility based on long-term goals.
What Kind of Commitment Are You Looking For?
It’s important to clarify expectations about the relationship’s nature. Discuss if you’re each seeking a casual connection or a serious commitment. Understanding each other’s readiness for commitment and long-term plans helps align your relationship goals and expectations.
What Are Your Deal-Breakers?
You should also identify and share personal deal-breakers in a relationship—this is key in order to avoid future disappointment. It’s a good idea to discuss the experiences that shaped these deal-breakers and understand what each person can or cannot tolerate.