According to psychologists, certain responses can make a huge difference in winning an argument, not by shutting someone down, but by keeping your cool and shifting the focus. Today, we’re happy to share these with you; here is a list of brilliant comebacks that are bound to not only win an argument but diffuse it, too.
“That’s an interesting perspective. Can you explain more?”
Starting things off with a classic, instead of escalating the argument, this response shows curiosity and a willingness to listen. It encourages the other person to elaborate on their point of view, which often takes the heat out of the situation. Plus, by asking for more details, you might uncover several misunderstandings or weak spots in their argument, which will help a lot.
“I see where you’re coming from, but here’s how I see it.”
This phrase acknowledges the other person’s perspective, which is always good. However, it still gives you an opportunity to calmly introduce your own. As a result, it’s a non-confrontational way to state your opinion without dismissing theirs, which will no doubt work wonders for you.
“Let’s focus on finding a solution, not placing blame.”
We’ve all seen how arguments can quickly spiral into blame games, so we’d recommend using this comeback, as it shifts the focus to problem-solving. It reminds everyone involved that the goal is to fix the issue, not to attack each other.
Essentially, this approach not only makes you look like the reasonable one but also steers the conversation toward a productive outcome. Surely, we can all agree that that’s a more positive step than continuing to argue?
“I hear what you’re saying, but I don’t think we’re on the same page.”
Next up, this response highlights a potential misunderstanding without outright dismissing the other person’s point, inviting clarification, and keeping the conversation open instead of escalating tensions. Trust us–when you address the disconnect calmly, it often encourages the other person to reframe their argument more clearly, as they’ll realize that they’re off track.
“Let’s agree to disagree on this one.”
Sometimes, the best way to win an argument is to avoid dragging it out, so you could say the simple phrase, “Let’s agree to disagree on this one.” By saying this, you’re showing a lot of maturity and confidence in your stance, giving both parties an opportunity to move on without forcing a resolution that neither will accept. Overall, it’s a surprisingly respectful way to end the debate on a neutral note.
“Can we take a step back and look at the bigger picture?”
Unfortunately, arguments often get stuck in the small details, making this comeback all the more important. It pulls the conversation back into broader territory, shifting the focus to the bigger picture to help both parties reassess what’s really important.
“What would you do if you were in my shoes?”
Another brilliant comeback that psychologists claim will win every argument in a mature way is “What would you do if you were in my shoes?” Why does this work so well? Well, it encourages empathy and challenges the other person to see the situation from your point of view.
Therefore, it’s a powerful way to redirect the argument without being aggressive. By asking them to consider your perspective, you often get them to soften their stance or even rethink their position entirely.
“Can we focus on what we agree on first?”
Arguably one of the best ways to diffuse an argument is to find common ground. Because of that, this response is ideal, shifting the focus from disagreements to shared values or goals, creating a more collaborative atmosphere. At the end of the day, when both parties feel like they’re on the same team, it’s easier to resolve conflicts without unnecessary hostility.
“I don’t think attacking each other is helping.”
Have you noticed that an argument is getting too heated or personal? If so, this comeback calls out the behavior in a way that encourages reflection. It subtly points out the unproductive nature of the exchange while steering the conversation back to the issue at hand, giving everyone a gentle reminder to keep things respectful and focused.
“Can we talk about this later when we’re both calmer?”
Timing matters in arguments, making this comeback ideal, as it suggests a break to cool off before continuing. Seriously–it shows a heck of a lot of emotional intelligence to recognize when the discussion is becoming too intense to be productive.
“I’m not sure we’re solving anything by yelling.”
Similarly, calling out destructive behavior like yelling helps reset the tone of an argument. Don’t worry, though, as this response doesn’t accuse—it simply observes and encourages a shift toward a calmer, more constructive exchange. By addressing the tone, you take control of the situation and set a higher standard for communication.
“That’s not fair—let’s stick to the facts.”
Sadly, people can sometimes make unfair accusations or exaggerations in arguments, especially when they’re becoming emotional. That’s why psychologists recommend this comeback, as it redirects the conversation to a more factual, grounded place.
Ultimately, it’s just a way to challenge inaccuracies without escalating the argument. Sticking to the facts often exposes weaknesses in the other person’s claims, giving you the upper hand.
“I’m willing to admit where I went wrong. Can you do the same?”
If you want to disarm another person in an unfair argument, take responsibility for your own mistakes, and this will no doubt shift the tone of the argument. You’ll be leading with humility, setting an example for them to reflect on their own actions.
“What outcome are you hoping for here?”
During a heated argument, it can be surprisingly useful to ask this question, as it forces the other person to consider their ultimate goal. It might make them realize that they’re just arguing for the sake of it, whereas if they genuinely do have a valid point, it gives you insight into how to address it. Either way, it moves the conversation toward resolution rather than endless back-and-forth.
“I don’t think either of us is winning right now.”
Often, it’s best to just acknowledge that an argument isn’t productive, allowing both parties to take a step back and reassess their direction. It shifts the focus from “winning” to finding a better way forward, which any mature person can agree is more productive.
“Let me think about what you said before I respond.”
Finally, you should always remember that, often, the best comeback is simply taking a moment to pause. To make this happen, consider saying, “Let me think about what you said before I respond”. Essentially, it proves that you’re not reacting impulsively (or at least trying not to do so) and that you value the other person’s input. Additionally, it gives you time to gather your thoughts and come back with a stronger, more composed argument.